Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.
...Winter brought with her the rains, oceans of mud filled the roads
Gluing the tracks of their tanks to the ground while the sky filled with snow
And all that I ever was able to see
The fire in the air glowing red silhouetting the snow on the breeze
In the footsteps of Napoleon the shadow figures stagger through the winter
Falling back before the gates of Moscow,
Standing in the wings like an avenger~~~Al Stewart; ROAD TO MOSCOW(this is posted in this week's web log because this week marks the anniversaries of two follies attempting to make HOLY MOTHER RUSSIA part of somebody else's imperial ambitions)
This is going to be one of those chapters in this journal where I want to say so much, but I can't because it will be upsetting to some people; cutting to the core about how some people, and some statuses, are perceived.
Why the Sex Disappeared In Our Marriage~~~Sharyn Wolf, LCSW---Author of "Love Shrinks: A Memoir Of A Marriage Counselor's Divorce"
Let me explain the sex life I had with my ex-husband. During the official 8 years of our marriage, my husband and I had sex three times. Two of the times I remember. The third--well, I'm just guessing there had to be three.
It's hard to talk about this. I don't want to hurt my ex-husband or to shame him or myself. But this failure at physical intimacy does seem shameful, inexplicable and humiliating.
There is a universal code in sexless marriages, and the code is "don't tell." But it can be tiring to keep such a secret. Moreover, to my great surprise, when I admitted this idiosyncrasy of my own marriage in the Huffington Post back in March, I received numerous letters from other people who were in the same boat in one way or another. There were countless couples who also were not having any sex. Many of the couples were still married.
In the very beginning, my ex and I were like any other couple. We had sex all the time. Our lovemaking was happy and we were satisfied with how it was going.
Then my ex went off to Japan for business, and I started snooping through his things. I realize this was a terrible thing for me to do. No one snoops to find the theater ticket he was going to surprise you with. We all snoop to find something that will break our hearts. And that's exactly the something I found. I found a letter that revealed that he had cheated on me on a previous Japan visit, and I found a phone bill with 1-900 calls on it.
This led to a phase of no sex.
Many couples have a phase of no sex.
Our phase lasted thirteen years. This consisted of several more years of our dating and nearly our entire marriage.
We should have gone to therapy right there and then.
We should have gotten the help we needed.
I cannot tell you why we did not.
In the beginning, he protested. He wanted our sex life back. But soon, he stopped and peacefully entered into a non-sexual existence.
We loved each other, but I could not get past what had happened. I did not want sex with him, but I did not want to leave him either. He wanted sex with me, but he didn't want to lose the relationship and was willing to pay this price. The fact that he was willing to pay it for so long suggests to me that he has some issues of his own around this topic
The reason I took this tough position was that I had been sexually molested as a child and when my husband cheated on me, I emotionally began to see him as a predator--someone who would hurt me. I could not get this awful picture out of my head. I started acting like a three-year-old, a child to whom nothing terrible had happened yet. My husband joined me there, and, instead of sex, we had a houseful of stuffed animals that made us happy.
At one point, though, I became interested and approached him. At this time, he was not interested at all and did not want to talk about it. So we both had periods of feeling sexual and periods of wanting nothing to do with sex.
But I do believe healing is possible. Despite our insurmountable obstacles, there was this one time we almost reconnected. It was ages ago, before I became a psychotherapist. I was still a jazz singer. I had a gig in another town and he came with me. For the first time in years, we found the way to each other. I did not push him away. I allowed myself to feel that, for the first time, he was enjoying me--not just that I was a female, but he was actually making love to the essence of me. It was the first time I had an orgasm with him and I must have told him I loved him a thousand times.
Then we came home to our ugly apartment with the filthy dishes, overwhelming dust and all those terrible memories. I pushed him away again. He said, "You know why you are doing this--because we got too close."
I just could not come back to him in any grown-up way.
Today I understand. In the hotel room, there had been no cheating, no 1-900 calls, no childhood molestation--a place of safety for us.
The hotel room was enchanted. The spell only worked when we were there.
Every couple who doesn't have sex has reasons far beyond the simple one that they just stopped or weren't turned on by each other anymore. I would wish that people would understand the complexities in us all and find out more before they judge.
A N D
Dear Abby: My husband, “Ed,” and I have been together for six years, married for two. This is the second marriage for both of us. We have children from our first marriages. Ed works offshore. He’s gone 21 days and here 21 days. The three weeks he’s gone, I work, take care of the house and the kids, do the yard work, etc. When he comes home, I want him to myself the first weekend—I don’t want to share him with his friends. I’d like to do fun things with him sometimes, just the two of us.
Ed says I have to understand his friends are important. He says I’m selfish and jealous. He doesn’t show affection very well either (except behind closed doors), and I am a very affectionate person. Am I asking too much from him? I am considering counseling, but I’m unsure whether Ed would go.
—Bored and Lonely in Mississippi
Dear Bored and Lonely: Counseling is an excellent idea, and if Ed won’t go, you should go without him. Asking your husband to spend two days of one-on- one time with you when he returns from three weeks away isn’t too much, and it’s not selfish. He needs to reorganize his priorities and put you higher on the list than his buddies.
Affection is supposed to be spontaneous, and you shouldn’t have to beg for it. What you describe going on behind closed doors sounds more like plain old sex and a whole lot less like affection. Unless your husband is willing to put more effort into your marriage, I can’t see you living until death do you part on a starvation diet—and you can tell both your husband and your counselor I said so.
Maybe I will be like Joe Friday of Dragnet---and just report the facts. Let the observer see it Shakespeare.
I'm confused. At 60, am I supposed to enjoy, affections and intimacies, or not??? Even as I have been reminded in no uncertain terms that the reason why the male drive dries up by this age is because women can no longer bear children and so the male reproductive function is designed to become dysfunctional. And while that may be the case, I cannot speak for other men, but I know my psyche, and my psyche still craves attention; affections, and even going out on the limb to possibly attempt intimate exchanges.
So here I am---in my Sixtieth year of life, and am in a relationship that is totally devoid of anything that constitutes humanity. There is no attention given, there is no exchanges of affection, there isn't any real qualitative conversation---to speak of. What does take place, does so between the distance of two-rooms, and sometimes---two floors. And this is a 37 year old relationship; one that is well -grounded in experiences and memories. Yet, I have been reminded often that these are things of the past and have no bearing or relevance on the here-and-now, and the future. The effort at avoiding interaction is constant. If it wasn't for Andrew, I would be @ McDonald's every day getting my supper.
I posted the two articles above because it has to do with relationships and how we torture each other denying the interaction essentials that are the flavoring ingredients, thereof. No sex; no affection, is just a very very tough pill to swallow at this point in my life. Abigail Van Buren hit the nail on head with; "Affection is supposed to be spontaneous, and you shouldn’t have to beg for it...Unless your [wife] is willing to put more effort into your marriage, I can’t see you living until death do you part on a starvation diet—and you can tell both your [wife] and [her] counselor I said so."
Affection-starvation-diet!!!
I cannot say that I have seen relationship-deterioration labeled, any better. I realize that I am not---without fault. Yes I have made my share of mistakes. But if we LIVE what we hear in the homilies preached at Mass every week; about faith, healing, forgiveness, and love, then I feel we should be able to get beyond the good, the bad, and the ugly---to build on the foundation, and thirty-seven years of building blocks, to where this marriage is considered second-to-none. Instead, it is just another one---Fading Away. I mean, she is not even wearing the wedding rings, or the reaffirmation ring at all, anymore.
Which brings me to Friday 24 June, 2011. A Great Day!!! Fridays do often represent the best of days---of the week, for me. Because it was my birthday, I was not going to be denied enjoying it.
In getting up, I was greeted, as she was hastily making her way out of the bedroom, with the obligatory---Happy Birthday. It was Spartan and sterile. There was no effort at all to come on my side of the bed first, to give an embracing, and engaging, affectionate happy-birthday-statement. She wanted to hustle out to get coffee for herself, and me---as she puts it. I take a shower and shave in slow-motion; she didn't HAVE TO hustle to do anything. She could have given me some quality-time and affection-infused attention. But then, I expected it to be this way; the affection starvation-diet, and the continued no-touch policy. I can see my gift-containers in the corner of the bedroom, but she has not brought them to me so I know that this is not going to be a bedroom-experience. Once I am dressed, I make my way downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. At this point she returns---with the coffee. It is in the breakfast-setting that the gifts are presented. The Card---which for Donna has always been an event-priority. More than the gift itself, the Card is supposed to be THE EVENT STATEMENT. Donna's Card, a milepost-card had a small personal note reflecting all the memories that my 60 years held. There was nothing mentioned of love, affection, or devotion. I have friends in Facebook whose comments, made more personal and meaningful remarks than those in the card Donna gave to me. Another example of the affection starvation-diet. After going through the gifts and the seal-of-approval remarks that would have demonstrated to any loving wife how the gestures, and the generosity of the gestures, were appreciated, I expected something a little better in return, than what I did get~~~a peck on the cheek. I mean---she didn't know me from Adam, but Roxanne initiated coming over to me, and my scooter, to slow-dance a 'number' performed by Cherry-Poppin Daddies, @ Central Terminal Deco Night. She held me close; and I did the same---as one would, in a slow-dance. And yes, I certainly appreciated her extending that form of affection to me. After this, Donna was off to work. When I was done with breakfast, I finished up with my computer, and an important phone-call from the Social Security office. After that, I wanted to enjoy some laughs so I went to the matinee performance of BAD TEACHER; starring Cameron Diaz. When that was finished I headed over to The Central Terminal for Deco Fest 2011: Live Music at The Central Terminal. This was an all-day event that had five groups performing. The theme was 'swing' but the performing sets, including the head-liners---the Cherry Poppin' Daddies, were a mix of Swing, Country, Bluegrass, and Rock-Blues. What was nice was that there was no dead-time. In between sets, swing-dance-instructors came onto the floor and provided swing-dance instructions to anybody---who wanted them!!
Here is the bitter part of this bittersweet day; Friday---my 60th Birthday. I expected this; that whatever I was going to do---and I did have a few things planned~~~I knew that this was going to be 'A Birthday', that I was going to be...Celebrating Alone.
--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
A Tribute to Fathers~~~and My Father
Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.
Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually
But dear Lord she’s dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream~~~LUTHER VANDROSS: DANCE WITH MY FATHER AGAIN
Dad~~~I saw in You, a Man. Through your actions---I realized a DETERMINATION. It is in your actions and behavior, that I formulated my sense of character, around. You were always a Man of CHARACTER; You only knew Hard Work. You minded your own business; you never 'hung' around drinking, playing cards, or mixing with "elements."
Of course, being a bit older now, and having seen---and have been a 'part' of how some of this world works, mixing with some elements developing 'connections' and networking---can be a good thing. This is why we, as a family on West Delavan Ave., always found ourselves on the other-side of the tracks, so-to-speak, because Dad just didn't 'know' anybody. In realizing this, going into my adult years, I was certainly going to TRY to add that 'element' of connections~~~to my persona.
And Dad~~~You understood figuratively---and literally---DRIVE. As a wounded warrior---you wouldn't stop. You, and your IBT brothers, gerry-rigged the steering wheel of a MACK TRUCK to continue to work while the hand was in a cast, and put food on the table.
It is in your strength Dad, that I allow myself to cry. I love you, Dad. This is My Father's Day Tribute, to You~~~and to all of those whom still hold deeply in their hearts, the better memories of their Fathers.
Some thoughts already expressed through the social-networking-site FACEBOOK:
Rose Spears---Beautiful tribute ...
Gloria Marconi---Yes indeed. I talk dad up all the time. I remember hearing him every morning at 7AM shuffling down the stairs to get ready for work. Friday after work we went to the grocery store and did food shopping. He cooked on the weekends to give mom a break. He was a gentle man in his way. He was all about family and he was a hard worker never complaining.
Leana Elam---I echo the sentiment. He was always there when we needed him most....Remember Glo, during those Sunday morning deliveries when the snow overpowered the cart and dad came through with the station wagon to get the papers on the customers front porch. He was a real trooper!!!!Love you dad.
Gloria Marconi---Yessiree!!!
Lou Marconi---This was like 1958; 1959---but I will never forget this. I don't even know if NY Workman's Comp was even available for him. He broke his hand husking freight at one of the driver-dock Trucking Companies that he was working at. He didn't sit on his ass, waiting forever for his hand to heal. He, and his cohorts, gerry-rigged the steering wheel so he could clutch, shift, and steer his Mack Truck that he was peddling freight in, all over the city.
Lou Marconi---That explains why the one finger of his left hand never healed properly.
Maria Mulder Herberger---Louie...He truly was a SUPERDAD...As a kid I was amazed at how he still went to work everyday. i can still see him making his way to the house...such strength and determination.. so much like yourself!
I feel the BELOW to an excellent reflection of a resourceful Father, regardless of what walk-of-life, he would work to blossom in, and how he would end up leaving HIS mark.
By Perry Nicholas
~~~AURA~~~
Everything smelled of paint thinner,
to some degree, around my father
and our house. A foreign perfume,
or a man’s spicy cologne.
It circulated down the driveway
from the beds of tired work trucks
to the can-full garage, through the yard,
never empty enough to play in.
There was a lone lilac bush
just on the other side of our fence,
begging me to breathe in her fragrance
every morning, but instead, I rose
before the others to inhale my father
as he loaded paint on the pickup
with one hand, pulled lovingly
on his non-filters with the other.
Cigarettes, paint fumes, and stale whiskey...
an intoxicating concoction of scents.
They followed him day and night,
and I respected his aura of thinner.
It hung everywhere in the air,
just as a father’s force lingers
forever heavy in a man’s life.
Strange how our jobs seep out
of us unnoticed, undetected
except to those who need us.
I wonder if I smell of lead pencils,
new paper, coffee, and chalk.
Ironic, huh Dad!?!? I ended up spending my adult-life~~~in the transportation industry. And ultimately, would end up carrying an IBT Union membership-card.
The apple~~~doesn't fall---FAR FROM THE TREE.
--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise
NB: While our USMC son, Philip was going through boot camp at Parris Isle, it wasn't always---blood and guts. Every now and again---they actually conducted DISCUSSION GROUPS. The theme of this one discussion group that he was a part of was~~~whom did you find to be the most influential person in your life.
Philip's response~~~"My Father."(eyes now watering)
Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually
But dear Lord she’s dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream~~~LUTHER VANDROSS: DANCE WITH MY FATHER AGAIN
Dad~~~I saw in You, a Man. Through your actions---I realized a DETERMINATION. It is in your actions and behavior, that I formulated my sense of character, around. You were always a Man of CHARACTER; You only knew Hard Work. You minded your own business; you never 'hung' around drinking, playing cards, or mixing with "elements."
Of course, being a bit older now, and having seen---and have been a 'part' of how some of this world works, mixing with some elements developing 'connections' and networking---can be a good thing. This is why we, as a family on West Delavan Ave., always found ourselves on the other-side of the tracks, so-to-speak, because Dad just didn't 'know' anybody. In realizing this, going into my adult years, I was certainly going to TRY to add that 'element' of connections~~~to my persona.
And Dad~~~You understood figuratively---and literally---DRIVE. As a wounded warrior---you wouldn't stop. You, and your IBT brothers, gerry-rigged the steering wheel of a MACK TRUCK to continue to work while the hand was in a cast, and put food on the table.
It is in your strength Dad, that I allow myself to cry. I love you, Dad. This is My Father's Day Tribute, to You~~~and to all of those whom still hold deeply in their hearts, the better memories of their Fathers.
Some thoughts already expressed through the social-networking-site FACEBOOK:
Rose Spears---Beautiful tribute ...
Gloria Marconi---Yes indeed. I talk dad up all the time. I remember hearing him every morning at 7AM shuffling down the stairs to get ready for work. Friday after work we went to the grocery store and did food shopping. He cooked on the weekends to give mom a break. He was a gentle man in his way. He was all about family and he was a hard worker never complaining.
Leana Elam---I echo the sentiment. He was always there when we needed him most....Remember Glo, during those Sunday morning deliveries when the snow overpowered the cart and dad came through with the station wagon to get the papers on the customers front porch. He was a real trooper!!!!Love you dad.
Gloria Marconi---Yessiree!!!
Lou Marconi---This was like 1958; 1959---but I will never forget this. I don't even know if NY Workman's Comp was even available for him. He broke his hand husking freight at one of the driver-dock Trucking Companies that he was working at. He didn't sit on his ass, waiting forever for his hand to heal. He, and his cohorts, gerry-rigged the steering wheel so he could clutch, shift, and steer his Mack Truck that he was peddling freight in, all over the city.
Lou Marconi---That explains why the one finger of his left hand never healed properly.
Maria Mulder Herberger---Louie...He truly was a SUPERDAD...As a kid I was amazed at how he still went to work everyday. i can still see him making his way to the house...such strength and determination.. so much like yourself!
I feel the BELOW to an excellent reflection of a resourceful Father, regardless of what walk-of-life, he would work to blossom in, and how he would end up leaving HIS mark.
By Perry Nicholas
~~~AURA~~~
Everything smelled of paint thinner,
to some degree, around my father
and our house. A foreign perfume,
or a man’s spicy cologne.
It circulated down the driveway
from the beds of tired work trucks
to the can-full garage, through the yard,
never empty enough to play in.
There was a lone lilac bush
just on the other side of our fence,
begging me to breathe in her fragrance
every morning, but instead, I rose
before the others to inhale my father
as he loaded paint on the pickup
with one hand, pulled lovingly
on his non-filters with the other.
Cigarettes, paint fumes, and stale whiskey...
an intoxicating concoction of scents.
They followed him day and night,
and I respected his aura of thinner.
It hung everywhere in the air,
just as a father’s force lingers
forever heavy in a man’s life.
Strange how our jobs seep out
of us unnoticed, undetected
except to those who need us.
I wonder if I smell of lead pencils,
new paper, coffee, and chalk.
Ironic, huh Dad!?!? I ended up spending my adult-life~~~in the transportation industry. And ultimately, would end up carrying an IBT Union membership-card.
The apple~~~doesn't fall---FAR FROM THE TREE.
--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise
NB: While our USMC son, Philip was going through boot camp at Parris Isle, it wasn't always---blood and guts. Every now and again---they actually conducted DISCUSSION GROUPS. The theme of this one discussion group that he was a part of was~~~whom did you find to be the most influential person in your life.
Philip's response~~~"My Father."(eyes now watering)
Friday, June 10, 2011
Independence Day
Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address
Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us, that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion, that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
Assuming its own stature of strategic significance in the Western Theatre of the American Civil War, the Battle of Vicksburg, MS would stand as the quieter; second twin, in watershed reference points. With so much on the line for the North regarding the Vicksburg Campaign, the North's successes at Vicksburg, MS would always stand in the shadows~~~of Gettysburg, Pa.
History paints the picture of GETTYSBURG as the epic, iconic Civil War battle. In a battle that had both sides contending with questionable and doubting fits and starts, there was nonetheless, decisive strategies effected. There was included, a who's-who of military leaders, and then, facsimiles-thereof. In a battle that would have its hallowed ground, several months later, have a President standing on it to pay homage, would be the same President whose face would some day be literally etched in granite. And the fait d'accomplish!?!? When this President did come to pay homage to this hallowed ground, he would make a 282-worded speech(way-short; by political standards) where even he suggested at one point in his remarks..."the world will little note." In the aftermath of the grossest bloodshed on American soil, would come a speech whose words, context, and spirit, would redefine, or as this President solicited...'rediscover' who we are~~~as a government, a society, and as a people.
In the watershed moment of American History where this battle of Gettysburg, PA stands, there emerges another battle of enormous strategic significance and epic proportions, that plays out, in the shadow of Gettysburg.
By design; denying access to the flow of manpower, equipment, and armament on the Mississippi River, is the purpose of this fortified bastion on the southwest flank of the Confederate Heartland; Vicksburg, MS. Representing itself as the pillar of strength on the Western Flank, The Union-driven Vicksburg Campaign, under the leadership of Maj Gen Ulysses S, Grant, and his Army Of The Tennessee, was to render ineffective, the last Confederate-controlled-section---of the Mississippi River. Unlike the Battle of Gettysburg, which was a five-day affair, the siege of Vicksburg would protract for a grueling, and punishing nine months. And this siege took place in an era where the thinking had the civilian population---fair game.
Establishing a foothold so deep into the Confederate Heartland was a serious challenge. Keep in mind, the Civil War predates the Eisenhower Interstate System by almost one hundred years. To be an effective offensive advancing combative machine, everything had to be as that of a well-oiled machine. Your rear-guard(Columbus, Kentucky), your supply-line(principally, The Central Mississippi Railroad), and logistics must be ample, fluid, and have all the supply-chain-links stay intact, so that the advancing front-line momentum---remains sustained. Because of the proliferation of the railroads over the previous twenty years, wagon trains, and an enhancement of topographical reliefs, like the Cumberland Trail, brought about by our innate sub-conscious compulsion of manifest-destiny, what the habitually-drinking Major General U.S Grant pulls off, is near-genius.
Source: "Historical Times Encyclopedia of the Civil War" edited by Patricia L. Faust
From mid-Oct. 1862, Maj. Gen. Ulysses S. Grant made several attempts to take Vicksburg. Following failures in the initial attempts---the Battle of Chickasaw Bluffs, the Yazoo Pass Expedition, and Steele's Bayou Expedition, in the spring of 1863 he prepared to cross his troops from the west bank of the Mississippi River to a point south of Vicksburg and drive against the city from the south and east. Commanding Confederate batteries at Port Hudson, La., farther south prevented the transportation of waterborne supply and any communication from Union forces in Baton Rouge and New Orleans. Naval support for his campaign would have to come from Rear Adm. David D. Porter's fleet north of Vicksburg. Running past the powerful Vicksburg batteries, Porter's vessels, once south of the city, could ferry Federals to the east bank. There infantry would face two Confederate forces, one under Lt. Gen. John C. Pemberton at Vicksburg and another around Jackson, Miss., soon to be commanded by Gen. Joseph E. Johnston.
In Jan. 1863, Grant organized his force into the XI Corps under Maj. Gen. John A. McClernand, with a huge ego, and soon-to-be-rival to Ulysses, the XV Corps under Maj. Gen. William T. Sherman, the XVI Corps under Maj. Gen. Stephen A. Hurlbut, and the XVII Corps under Maj. Gen. James B. McPherson. Simultaneous with Grant's Vicksburg offensive, Maj. Gen. Nathaniel P. Banks began his maneuvering along the Red River in Louisiana. Hurlbut's Corps was subsequently transferred to New Orleans. With his three remaining Corps, Grant began operations late in March. On the 29th and 30th McClernand's and McPherson's men, at Milliken's Bend and Lake Providence, northwest of Vicksburg, began working their way south, building a military road to New Carthage, LA., preparatory to a move south to Hard Times, LA, a village opposite Bruinsburg, MS.
On the night of 16 Apr., at Grant's request, Porter took 12 vessels south past the Vicksburg batteries, losing one, to Confederate fire. On 17 Apr. Grierson's Raid began. Led by Brig. Gen. Benjamin H. Grierson, Federal cavalry left
La Grange, TN, for 16 days riding through central Mississippi to Baton Rouge, LA, pulling away large units from Vicksburg's defense to pursue them. Porter, encouraged by light losses on his first try, ran a large supply flotilla past the Vicksburg batteries the night of 22 Apr. Sherman's troops, many at work on a canal project at Duckport, abandoned this work, joined in a last action along the Yazoo River, northeast of Vicksburg, and 29-30 Apr. made a demonstration against Confederate works at Haynes' Bluff and Drumgould's Bluffs, diverting more of Pemberton's force. Also on 29 Apr., as McClernand's and McPherson's troops gathered near Hard Times, Porter's fleet assailed Confederate batteries at Grand Gulf, 33 mi. southwest of Vicksburg, testing the Grand Gulf area as a landing site for Union troops. Though Porter found the guns there too strong, he had succeeded in further diverting Pemberton in Vicksburg.
Grant had originally determined that Rodney, MS, would be the starting point of his invasion, but took the advice of a local slave and picked Bruinsburg instead. McClernand's and McPherson's corps were ferried east across the Mississippi from Hard Times 30 Apr. That day Grant sent word north for Sherman to follow McPherson's route south and join him.
On I May, the Federal invasion force engaged the Confederates in the Battle of Port Gibson. Pemberton had just over 40,000 men assigned to the Vicksburg region. Since they were scattered throughout the area, chasing Grierson and wary of Sherman, few of them could be brought to bear against Grant on short notice. Defeated at Port Gibson, Pemberton's troops moved north. Grant, to Pemberton's confusion, pushed northeast. Sherman's corps joined him 8 May, and 12 May the engagement at Raymond was fought. Johnston took personal command of Confederates at Jackson, 15 mi northeast of Raymond, 13 May. On 14 May Federals quickly won an engagement at Jackson, cut off Johnston from Pemberton, and ensured the latter's isolation for the rest of the campaign. In 2 weeks Grant's force had come well over 130 mi. northeast from their Bruinsburg landing site.
Ordering Sherman to destroy Jackson's heavy industry and rail facilities, Grant turned west, roughly following the Southern Mississippi Railroad to Bolton, and 16 May fought the climactic combat of his field campaign, the Battle Of Champion's Hill. With the largest force he had yet gathered to oppose Grant, Pemberton nevertheless took a beating there and pulled his army into the defenses of Vicksburg. In a delaying battle at Big Black River Bridge, 17 May, Confederates crossed the Big Black, destroying their river crossings behind them. Undeterred, Federals threw up their own bridges and continued pursuit the next day.
Approaching from the east and northeast, McClernand's, McPherson's, and Sherman's corps neared the Vicksburg defenses 1 8 May, Sherman's veering north to take the hills overlooking the Yazoo River. Possession of these heights assured Grant's reinforcement and supply from the North. The next day Federals made the failed first assault on Vicksburg. The second assault, 22 May, was a disaster for Union forces, showed the strength of the miles of Confederate works arching east around the city, and convinced Grant that Pemberton could only be defeated in a protracted siege.
The siege of Vicksburg began with the repulse of the 22 May assault and lasted until early July of 1863. As the siege progressed, Pemberton's 20,000-man garrison was reduced by disease and starvation, and the city's residents, already forced to seek the refuge of caves and bombproofs in the surrounding hillsides, were just as shell-shocked and war-weary. Hunger and daily bombardments by Grant's forces and Porter's gunboats compelled Pemberton to ask for surrender terms on 3 July, 1863. Grant offered none, but on the garrison's capitulation immediately paroled the bulk of the force. Many of these same men would later oppose him at Chattanooga.
Pemberton's surrender ended the Vicksburg Campaign. But during the siege, to the east Johnston had raised a 31,000 man force in the Jackson area. On 4 July, as Confederates were being paroled, Sherman moved his force to oppose this new threat. Sherman's march would result in the Siege of Jackson.
The Siege of Vicksburg (May 18 – July 1863) was the final major military action in the Vicksburg Campaign of the American Civil War. In a series of maneuvers, Union Maj. Gen. Ulysses S. Grant and his Army of the Tennessee crossed the Mississippi River and drove the Confederate army of Lt. Gen. John C. Pemberton into the defensive lines surrounding the fortress city of Vicksburg, Mississippi.
When two major assaults (May 19 and May 22, 1863) against the Confederate fortifications were repulsed with heavy casualties, Grant decided to besiege the city beginning on May 25. With no re-enforcement, supplies nearly gone, and after holding out for more than forty days, the garrison did finally surrender. This action (combined with the capitulation of Port Hudson on July 9) yielded command of the Mississippi River to the Union forces, who would hold it for the rest of the conflict. The Confederate surrender following the Siege at Vicksburg is sometimes considered, when combined with Gen. Robert E. Lee's defeat at Gettysburg the previous day, the turning point of the war. The most significant result of the campaign was control of the Mississippi River, which the Union obtained completely after Port Hudson, which had been besieged by Banks since May 27, heard news of Vicksburg's fall and surrendered on July 9. The Confederacy was now cut in two; one week later, an unarmed ship arrived in Union-held New Orleans from St. Louis after an uneventful trip down the river. President Lincoln announced, "The Father of Waters again goes unvexed to the sea. The added benefit of cutting off communications with Confederate Forces through their the Trans-Mississippi Department for the remainder of the war, was decisive.
The city of Vicksburg would not celebrate Independence Day for about eighty years, subsequent to WORLD WAR II, as a result of this devastating, demoralizing, and culturally-morphing---siege and surrender.
The blame for losing Vicksburg fell not only on John Pemberton, but on the overly cautious Joseph E. Johnston. Jefferson Davis said of the defeat, "Yes, from a want of provisions inside and a General outside who wouldn't fight." Anguished soldiers and civilians starving in the siege held hopes that he would come to their aid, but he never did. Accusations of cowardice that had dogged him since the 1862 Peninsula Campaign continued to follow him in the 1864 Atlanta Campaign against Sherman. However, Johnston was far outnumbered. While he was one of few Confederate generals whom Grant respected, he was out-generaled.
In the shadow of Gettysburg, PA, it is Maj Gen U. S. Grant's accomplishment at Vicksburg, MS that renders this lethal part of the Confederate's infallibility---to a mere foible. In doing so, Grant and his Army of the Tennessee(River), can redirect their strategies, talents, and energies to the Civil War's coup de grace; its Final Act~~~Appomattox, VA.
Historian Steven E. Woodworth wrote that Pemberton "had a strong claim to the title of the most hated man in the South, certainly the most hated to wear a Confederate uniform." There were accusations that adequate supplies had been on hand and that it was only his treachery that caused the surrender.
Confederate general Richard Taylor wrote after the war, "He had joined the South for the express purpose of betraying it, and this was clearly proven by the fact that he surrendered on the 4th of July, a day sacred to the Yankees."
Independence Day; its relevance now, even more profound.
--{-@
Hickok
The Promise
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address
Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us, that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion, that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
Assuming its own stature of strategic significance in the Western Theatre of the American Civil War, the Battle of Vicksburg, MS would stand as the quieter; second twin, in watershed reference points. With so much on the line for the North regarding the Vicksburg Campaign, the North's successes at Vicksburg, MS would always stand in the shadows~~~of Gettysburg, Pa.
History paints the picture of GETTYSBURG as the epic, iconic Civil War battle. In a battle that had both sides contending with questionable and doubting fits and starts, there was nonetheless, decisive strategies effected. There was included, a who's-who of military leaders, and then, facsimiles-thereof. In a battle that would have its hallowed ground, several months later, have a President standing on it to pay homage, would be the same President whose face would some day be literally etched in granite. And the fait d'accomplish!?!? When this President did come to pay homage to this hallowed ground, he would make a 282-worded speech(way-short; by political standards) where even he suggested at one point in his remarks..."the world will little note." In the aftermath of the grossest bloodshed on American soil, would come a speech whose words, context, and spirit, would redefine, or as this President solicited...'rediscover' who we are~~~as a government, a society, and as a people.
In the watershed moment of American History where this battle of Gettysburg, PA stands, there emerges another battle of enormous strategic significance and epic proportions, that plays out, in the shadow of Gettysburg.
By design; denying access to the flow of manpower, equipment, and armament on the Mississippi River, is the purpose of this fortified bastion on the southwest flank of the Confederate Heartland; Vicksburg, MS. Representing itself as the pillar of strength on the Western Flank, The Union-driven Vicksburg Campaign, under the leadership of Maj Gen Ulysses S, Grant, and his Army Of The Tennessee, was to render ineffective, the last Confederate-controlled-section---of the Mississippi River. Unlike the Battle of Gettysburg, which was a five-day affair, the siege of Vicksburg would protract for a grueling, and punishing nine months. And this siege took place in an era where the thinking had the civilian population---fair game.
Establishing a foothold so deep into the Confederate Heartland was a serious challenge. Keep in mind, the Civil War predates the Eisenhower Interstate System by almost one hundred years. To be an effective offensive advancing combative machine, everything had to be as that of a well-oiled machine. Your rear-guard(Columbus, Kentucky), your supply-line(principally, The Central Mississippi Railroad), and logistics must be ample, fluid, and have all the supply-chain-links stay intact, so that the advancing front-line momentum---remains sustained. Because of the proliferation of the railroads over the previous twenty years, wagon trains, and an enhancement of topographical reliefs, like the Cumberland Trail, brought about by our innate sub-conscious compulsion of manifest-destiny, what the habitually-drinking Major General U.S Grant pulls off, is near-genius.
Source: "Historical Times Encyclopedia of the Civil War" edited by Patricia L. Faust
From mid-Oct. 1862, Maj. Gen. Ulysses S. Grant made several attempts to take Vicksburg. Following failures in the initial attempts---the Battle of Chickasaw Bluffs, the Yazoo Pass Expedition, and Steele's Bayou Expedition, in the spring of 1863 he prepared to cross his troops from the west bank of the Mississippi River to a point south of Vicksburg and drive against the city from the south and east. Commanding Confederate batteries at Port Hudson, La., farther south prevented the transportation of waterborne supply and any communication from Union forces in Baton Rouge and New Orleans. Naval support for his campaign would have to come from Rear Adm. David D. Porter's fleet north of Vicksburg. Running past the powerful Vicksburg batteries, Porter's vessels, once south of the city, could ferry Federals to the east bank. There infantry would face two Confederate forces, one under Lt. Gen. John C. Pemberton at Vicksburg and another around Jackson, Miss., soon to be commanded by Gen. Joseph E. Johnston.
In Jan. 1863, Grant organized his force into the XI Corps under Maj. Gen. John A. McClernand, with a huge ego, and soon-to-be-rival to Ulysses, the XV Corps under Maj. Gen. William T. Sherman, the XVI Corps under Maj. Gen. Stephen A. Hurlbut, and the XVII Corps under Maj. Gen. James B. McPherson. Simultaneous with Grant's Vicksburg offensive, Maj. Gen. Nathaniel P. Banks began his maneuvering along the Red River in Louisiana. Hurlbut's Corps was subsequently transferred to New Orleans. With his three remaining Corps, Grant began operations late in March. On the 29th and 30th McClernand's and McPherson's men, at Milliken's Bend and Lake Providence, northwest of Vicksburg, began working their way south, building a military road to New Carthage, LA., preparatory to a move south to Hard Times, LA, a village opposite Bruinsburg, MS.
On the night of 16 Apr., at Grant's request, Porter took 12 vessels south past the Vicksburg batteries, losing one, to Confederate fire. On 17 Apr. Grierson's Raid began. Led by Brig. Gen. Benjamin H. Grierson, Federal cavalry left
La Grange, TN, for 16 days riding through central Mississippi to Baton Rouge, LA, pulling away large units from Vicksburg's defense to pursue them. Porter, encouraged by light losses on his first try, ran a large supply flotilla past the Vicksburg batteries the night of 22 Apr. Sherman's troops, many at work on a canal project at Duckport, abandoned this work, joined in a last action along the Yazoo River, northeast of Vicksburg, and 29-30 Apr. made a demonstration against Confederate works at Haynes' Bluff and Drumgould's Bluffs, diverting more of Pemberton's force. Also on 29 Apr., as McClernand's and McPherson's troops gathered near Hard Times, Porter's fleet assailed Confederate batteries at Grand Gulf, 33 mi. southwest of Vicksburg, testing the Grand Gulf area as a landing site for Union troops. Though Porter found the guns there too strong, he had succeeded in further diverting Pemberton in Vicksburg.
Grant had originally determined that Rodney, MS, would be the starting point of his invasion, but took the advice of a local slave and picked Bruinsburg instead. McClernand's and McPherson's corps were ferried east across the Mississippi from Hard Times 30 Apr. That day Grant sent word north for Sherman to follow McPherson's route south and join him.
On I May, the Federal invasion force engaged the Confederates in the Battle of Port Gibson. Pemberton had just over 40,000 men assigned to the Vicksburg region. Since they were scattered throughout the area, chasing Grierson and wary of Sherman, few of them could be brought to bear against Grant on short notice. Defeated at Port Gibson, Pemberton's troops moved north. Grant, to Pemberton's confusion, pushed northeast. Sherman's corps joined him 8 May, and 12 May the engagement at Raymond was fought. Johnston took personal command of Confederates at Jackson, 15 mi northeast of Raymond, 13 May. On 14 May Federals quickly won an engagement at Jackson, cut off Johnston from Pemberton, and ensured the latter's isolation for the rest of the campaign. In 2 weeks Grant's force had come well over 130 mi. northeast from their Bruinsburg landing site.
Ordering Sherman to destroy Jackson's heavy industry and rail facilities, Grant turned west, roughly following the Southern Mississippi Railroad to Bolton, and 16 May fought the climactic combat of his field campaign, the Battle Of Champion's Hill. With the largest force he had yet gathered to oppose Grant, Pemberton nevertheless took a beating there and pulled his army into the defenses of Vicksburg. In a delaying battle at Big Black River Bridge, 17 May, Confederates crossed the Big Black, destroying their river crossings behind them. Undeterred, Federals threw up their own bridges and continued pursuit the next day.
Approaching from the east and northeast, McClernand's, McPherson's, and Sherman's corps neared the Vicksburg defenses 1 8 May, Sherman's veering north to take the hills overlooking the Yazoo River. Possession of these heights assured Grant's reinforcement and supply from the North. The next day Federals made the failed first assault on Vicksburg. The second assault, 22 May, was a disaster for Union forces, showed the strength of the miles of Confederate works arching east around the city, and convinced Grant that Pemberton could only be defeated in a protracted siege.
The siege of Vicksburg began with the repulse of the 22 May assault and lasted until early July of 1863. As the siege progressed, Pemberton's 20,000-man garrison was reduced by disease and starvation, and the city's residents, already forced to seek the refuge of caves and bombproofs in the surrounding hillsides, were just as shell-shocked and war-weary. Hunger and daily bombardments by Grant's forces and Porter's gunboats compelled Pemberton to ask for surrender terms on 3 July, 1863. Grant offered none, but on the garrison's capitulation immediately paroled the bulk of the force. Many of these same men would later oppose him at Chattanooga.
Pemberton's surrender ended the Vicksburg Campaign. But during the siege, to the east Johnston had raised a 31,000 man force in the Jackson area. On 4 July, as Confederates were being paroled, Sherman moved his force to oppose this new threat. Sherman's march would result in the Siege of Jackson.
The Siege of Vicksburg (May 18 – July 1863) was the final major military action in the Vicksburg Campaign of the American Civil War. In a series of maneuvers, Union Maj. Gen. Ulysses S. Grant and his Army of the Tennessee crossed the Mississippi River and drove the Confederate army of Lt. Gen. John C. Pemberton into the defensive lines surrounding the fortress city of Vicksburg, Mississippi.
When two major assaults (May 19 and May 22, 1863) against the Confederate fortifications were repulsed with heavy casualties, Grant decided to besiege the city beginning on May 25. With no re-enforcement, supplies nearly gone, and after holding out for more than forty days, the garrison did finally surrender. This action (combined with the capitulation of Port Hudson on July 9) yielded command of the Mississippi River to the Union forces, who would hold it for the rest of the conflict. The Confederate surrender following the Siege at Vicksburg is sometimes considered, when combined with Gen. Robert E. Lee's defeat at Gettysburg the previous day, the turning point of the war. The most significant result of the campaign was control of the Mississippi River, which the Union obtained completely after Port Hudson, which had been besieged by Banks since May 27, heard news of Vicksburg's fall and surrendered on July 9. The Confederacy was now cut in two; one week later, an unarmed ship arrived in Union-held New Orleans from St. Louis after an uneventful trip down the river. President Lincoln announced, "The Father of Waters again goes unvexed to the sea. The added benefit of cutting off communications with Confederate Forces through their the Trans-Mississippi Department for the remainder of the war, was decisive.
The city of Vicksburg would not celebrate Independence Day for about eighty years, subsequent to WORLD WAR II, as a result of this devastating, demoralizing, and culturally-morphing---siege and surrender.
The blame for losing Vicksburg fell not only on John Pemberton, but on the overly cautious Joseph E. Johnston. Jefferson Davis said of the defeat, "Yes, from a want of provisions inside and a General outside who wouldn't fight." Anguished soldiers and civilians starving in the siege held hopes that he would come to their aid, but he never did. Accusations of cowardice that had dogged him since the 1862 Peninsula Campaign continued to follow him in the 1864 Atlanta Campaign against Sherman. However, Johnston was far outnumbered. While he was one of few Confederate generals whom Grant respected, he was out-generaled.
In the shadow of Gettysburg, PA, it is Maj Gen U. S. Grant's accomplishment at Vicksburg, MS that renders this lethal part of the Confederate's infallibility---to a mere foible. In doing so, Grant and his Army of the Tennessee(River), can redirect their strategies, talents, and energies to the Civil War's coup de grace; its Final Act~~~Appomattox, VA.
Historian Steven E. Woodworth wrote that Pemberton "had a strong claim to the title of the most hated man in the South, certainly the most hated to wear a Confederate uniform." There were accusations that adequate supplies had been on hand and that it was only his treachery that caused the surrender.
Confederate general Richard Taylor wrote after the war, "He had joined the South for the express purpose of betraying it, and this was clearly proven by the fact that he surrendered on the 4th of July, a day sacred to the Yankees."
Independence Day; its relevance now, even more profound.
--{-@
Hickok
The Promise
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Two Wrongs Never Made it Right
Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right now
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be
Sorry~~~Paula Cole; I Don't Want To Wait
Codex~~~Lip-service
Codex---Christa McDonald; James Sheldon(NLS)
Monday 30 May 2011, had a very nice weather-day. It was sunny and very very warm; an excellent way to observe Kenmore, New York's annual MEMORIAL DAY PARADE. All the 'regulars' were there; both in terms of units participating, as well as the observers watching!! After the Parade, many of the Kenwood Road residence migrated over to the Kaczynskis for an afternoon cook-out. Along the way, I found myself a new---right-hand-man. I needed the garage cleaned out in a bad way; I mean bad. When we were done with our 'fill', with Nicholas 'up' to doing it, I decided to take advantage of the enthusiasm and together, we both migrated to our garage, and started the task. He, for the most part, did the dirty work, while I provided direction. Where I could, while still scooter-bound, I tried to help. He, all-in-all, did a very good job and i think he was appreciative of the compensation arrangement. Here is the one thing that was 'blowing' my mind about the inside of the garage---aside from the fact that since I am scooter bound and therefore there exists a huge void in the ability to get things done around our household---while it hasn't been really cleaned in two years, I have no idea how the back of the INSIDE of the garage had, by osmosis---become lined with a dirt, mulch, laced-with-bones accumulation. This ran across the whole backside of the inside of the garage, and part of the west-side of the garage. I mean, I did not want to push a 'hot' button issue, but if this was Andrew's attempt at composting---sorry---not INSIDE my garage.
Tuesday 31 May 2011, was another beautiful day weather-wise; sunny, and warm but not as imposing a sun, as on Monday. I tackled some errands early-on and found myself, with camera-in-hand, watching some trains, both freight-trains, and the AMTRAK Maple Leaf Ltd. going by at one of my favorite observation locations. Of course, I was able to secure a couple of pictures along the way. In the evening, spent some time paying respects at the wake of a long-time friend of my mother-in-law. His name is Reginald Keroack and he had, over the last 11 years become a fixture; a part-and-parcel of the family fabric. In the process, we all became more aware of each other's extended families. As wakes usually become, this one was no exception; a family reunion unfolded. And this was good because it would help make Wednesday an easier day to accept.
Wednesday 1 June 2011, was the Funeral Mass, and interment services, for Reggie. He had become a recent convert to Catholicism. The interment service was conducted with a flag-draped coffin, a military honor-guard, and had TAPS played. It was sunny; 77 degrees, and there was a refreshing breeze in the air. After the services, we were all invited to attend a Keroack family luncheon @ Michael's Banquet Facility in Hamburg, NY.
CODEX~~~I have to find somebody that will trim my beautiful Rose Bush; it needs a definite trimming.
When the luncheon was over, I headed home. Everything was fine. I later tried to arrange some details with Andrew.
CODEX: Titan IIIE-Centaur. Brought in Nicholas from the bullpen.
Thursday 2 June 2011, put in a full day at ECBOE. I had to make up some of the time that I had to forgo, due to the funeral. It was kind of cool because Joel had actually asked me to introduce and walk through the signature re-posting computer procedure to Chris, one of the new interns. It made me feel good that Joel thought I had developed enough ECBOE computer-related skill-sets to 'walk' somebody else through an edit function.
Friday 3 June 2011, was a day loaded with activity and as the afternoon progressed, some shrinking time-lines.
I had a morning meeting with Christa McDonald, a very knowledgeable para-legal with NLS. I am trying to make happen a very very delicate blending of my SSSI with my part-time income. There are guidelines whereby, after a certain period of time, if the P/T income exceeds guidelines, the SSDI can be stopped. THE SSA is sponsoring a program called BOND which allows this blending to exist. Herein lays an example of governmental bureaucratic nonsense, and why I am trying to get legal leverage to overcome this. The SSDI recipient can't INITIATE action to participate in the program. The recipient is invited~~~by a lottery. Come on!! Get real!! The Disabilities-supervising attorney James Sheldon joined in the meeting. Gave me some in-confidence advise to follow-up with.
Codex---NY senior CS
Of course, I could not possibly have this day pass without recognizing astronaut, Ed White. For Ed White, two wrongs, ultimately made it---all wrong for him.
Jun 3, 1965: An American walks in space
One hundred and 20 miles above the earth, Major Edward H. White II opens the hatch of the Gemini 4 and steps out of the capsule, becoming the first American astronaut to walk in space. Attached to the craft by a 25-foot tether and controlling his movements with a hand-held oxygen jet-propulsion gun, White remained outside the capsule for just over 20 minutes. As a space walker, White was to be the first to walk in space but he had been preceded by Soviet cosmonaut Aleksei A. Leonov, who on March 18, 1965, was the first man ever to walk in space.
Keep in mind, this is 1965. And as proclaimed by President John F. Kennedy, in a speech in 1961, we were to get a man on the Moon---by the end of the decade. The reality of this objective was that at this point in the race for the Moon, the Soviets~~~were cleaning-our-clock.
The "space race" between the Soviet Union and the United States might have been on, but our first attempts at catching up, ended in spectacular explosions. On 12 April 1961, Soviet cosmonaut, Yuri Gagarin was launched into orbit around the Earth on Vostok 1. The Soviet Union achieved yet another first when it launched not only the first woman, but also the first civilian, in space-- Valentina Tereshkova, on 16 June 1963, in Vostok 6. Launching a woman was reportedly Korolyov's idea, and it was accomplished purely for propaganda value. Admittedly, it was working!!! Those whom were paying attention, felt another arrow in their heart. Tereshkova was one of a small corps of female cosmonauts who were amateur parachutists, but Tereshkova was the only one to fly. During this time, the Americans announced their ambitious plans for the Project Gemini flight schedule. These plans included major advancements in spacecraft capabilities, including a two-person spacecraft, the ability to change orbits, the capacity to perform an extravehicular activity (EVA), and the goal of docking with another spacecraft. And this TELEGRAPHING of our ambitions was our Achilles Heel. The Soviets continued to use this to keep their propaganda machine, and associated space accomplishments, in high gear. Invariably, the 'firsts' continue to stack against us. On 12 October 1964, the Chief Designer delivered another Soviet space-first when Voskhod 1 launched the first multi-person spacecraft, with three cosmonauts in a modified Vostok spacecraft. With all of the aforementioned, the USA had as yet to launch their first two-manned Gemini Capsule. While it will launch on the top of the USAF Titan-II rocket, this Gemini 3, will launch on March 23, 1965,and do a typically American method-of-operation, a modest---3-orbit space flight.
Pivotal to all of space-exploration is that, at some point, the astronaut/cosmonaut is going to have to venture out of his spacecraft. As we boldly proclaimed our objectives of the Gemini Program, the one objective that was much ANTICIPATED, as if to say; "Go Where No Man Has Gone Before", was our intent to have an astronaut "walk-in-space". Specifically, while being tethered to an umbilical-cord, Astronaut Ed White on June 3, 1965, would float out of the hatch of his Gemini 4 capsule, into the void of space.
This was to be THE FIRST-EVER "SPACEWALK"---or Extravehicular Activity (EVA). This
endeavor was much anticipated because, among other things, it would put America into overdrive with efforts to get neck-and-neck with the Soviets, in the race for that orb, 286,000 miles away.
On 18 March, 1965, the Soviets---pulled off yet another FIRST. And this one DID STEAL OUR THUNDER. This did take the collective-winds right out of our sails. Everybody, from NASA, and President Johnson, to the average American felt the figurative 'blow'. The press was discussing this for weeks. With the escalation of the Viet-Nam War bringing home some real-life reality-checks, this 'race', in particular, was getting called into question.
On this day, Alexei Leonov, born Alexey Arkhipovich Leonov on May 30, 1934; one of the first group of Soviet cosmonauts, became the first human to conduct a SPACEWALK(EVA). This historic spacewalk took place during the Voskhod 2 mission. He was outside the spacecraft for a little more than 12 minutes.
At the end of the spacewalk, his spacesuit had inflated in the vacuum of space and he could not re-enter the airlock. He was able to open a valve and bleed off some pressure. Eventually, he was able to force his way back into the space capsule.
Implemented at the height of the space race, NASA's Gemini program was the least famous of the three U.S.-manned space programs conducted during the 1960s. However, as an extension of Project Mercury, which put the first American in space in 1961, Gemini laid the groundwork for the more dramatic Apollo lunar missions, which began in 1968. The Gemini space flights were the first to involve multiple crews, and the extended duration of the missions provided valuable information about the biological effects of longer-term space travel. When the Gemini program ended in 1966, U.S. astronauts had also perfected rendezvous and docking maneuvers with other orbiting vehicles, a skill that would be essential during the three-stage Apollo moon missions.
Ultimately, even with the very modest start-up, The Gemini/Titan Program would be the unheralded stepping-stone. By-and-large history's forgotten legacy, this two-year segment of our space-exploration actually had us breaking away from the Soviets by leaps-and-bounds, yielding to the Apollo/Saturn Program, and a now unobstructed path to the moon.
But Ed White would not be a part of any of this glory. He was 'wronged' twice. The second time would cost him, his life. On January 27, 1967 tragedy struck on the launch pad during a pre-flight test for Apollo I, scheduled to be the first Apollo manned mission. It would have been launched on February 21, 1967, but Astronauts Virgil Grissom, Edward White, and Roger Chaffee lost their lives when a fire swept through the Command Module (CM). An astronaut, probably Chaffee, announced almost casually over the intercom: "Fire, I smell fire." Two seconds later, Astronaut White's voice was more insistent: "Fire in the cockpit." Before spacecraft technicians could reach it, the command module ruptured. Flame and thick black clouds of smoke billowed out, filling the room. Now a new danger arose. Many feared that the fire might set off the launch escape system atop Apollo. This, in turn, could ignite the entire service structure. Instinct told the men to get out while they could. Many did so, but others tried to rescue the astronauts.
The intense heat and dense smoke drove one after another back, but finally they succeeded. Unfortunately, it was too late. The astronauts were dead. Firemen arrived within three minutes of the hatch opening, doctors soon thereafter. A medical board determined that the astronauts died of carbon monoxide asphyxia, with thermal burns as contributing causes. The board could not say how much of the burns came after the three had died. Fire had destroyed 70% of Grissom's spacesuit, 20% of White's and 15% of Chaffee's.
Astronaut Edward H. White, Know This; Never Forgotten.
In the evening, of Friday, the family and I attended the...Students Of The David DeMarie Dance Studios Presents---THAT'S DANCIN', Recital. Of interest in particular is our 6-year-old grand-daughter Brooke Lyn Miller's first ever dance-recital. She was part of an ensemble that did a tap-dance routine called BEAUTIFUL BABY. Brooke demonstrated a confidence and precision skill-set throughout the performance of her TAP-DANCE selection.
From a personal standpoint, there were three performances that impacted myself. There were one duet and two solo performances, and they were of the modern-ballet genre. there was ONE MOMENT MORE, which was performed by twins Kalene & Kristen F. and DREAMER which was performed by Kristen F. The performance that brought me to my knees was WITH OR WITHOUT YOU performed by Toula B. And I was free to have a catharsis because I was all by myself in the handicap staging area. It was as if Toula was doing a command-performance just for me. Using a Military Dress Green top-coat as a motif, she would intermittently put on---and then remove---this coat as she moved gracefully, classically, and with a very feminine presence, across the floor depicting the turbulence of young-love in today's volunteer military. With our Country involved in so many places around the world, today's military service people are called on to deploy repeatedly. So over, and over again, this young lady has a service-beau who is with her---and often, without her. Toula's performance was riveting, and compelling. I felt---every heartbreak; every separation, each time that jacket was removed. Between the WITH OR WITHOUT YOU background music(it was only the music; no lyric were said), and the military theme, I was impacted on SO MANY LEVELS. It cut me to my very core. And I am not ashamed to admit it. When Nicole & Brian came up with Brooke Lyn, to say goodbye because Brooke was starting to fade-out, Nicole side-barred me with..."besides Brooke's---I know which one got to you!!" My Nicole!! I love her!!
--{-@
Hickok
The Promise
NB: For those of you whom may live, or have lived in the Buffalo and NORTHTOWNS area, there are three streets that run off of Niagara Falls Boulevard just North of the I 290 which are named to honor the three Apollo astronauts who perished on that fateful day in January of 1967. They are Gus Grissom Drive, Edward White Drive, and Roger Chaffee Drive---in Amherst NY.
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right now
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be
Sorry~~~Paula Cole; I Don't Want To Wait
Codex~~~Lip-service
Codex---Christa McDonald; James Sheldon(NLS)
Monday 30 May 2011, had a very nice weather-day. It was sunny and very very warm; an excellent way to observe Kenmore, New York's annual MEMORIAL DAY PARADE. All the 'regulars' were there; both in terms of units participating, as well as the observers watching!! After the Parade, many of the Kenwood Road residence migrated over to the Kaczynskis for an afternoon cook-out. Along the way, I found myself a new---right-hand-man. I needed the garage cleaned out in a bad way; I mean bad. When we were done with our 'fill', with Nicholas 'up' to doing it, I decided to take advantage of the enthusiasm and together, we both migrated to our garage, and started the task. He, for the most part, did the dirty work, while I provided direction. Where I could, while still scooter-bound, I tried to help. He, all-in-all, did a very good job and i think he was appreciative of the compensation arrangement. Here is the one thing that was 'blowing' my mind about the inside of the garage---aside from the fact that since I am scooter bound and therefore there exists a huge void in the ability to get things done around our household---while it hasn't been really cleaned in two years, I have no idea how the back of the INSIDE of the garage had, by osmosis---become lined with a dirt, mulch, laced-with-bones accumulation. This ran across the whole backside of the inside of the garage, and part of the west-side of the garage. I mean, I did not want to push a 'hot' button issue, but if this was Andrew's attempt at composting---sorry---not INSIDE my garage.
Tuesday 31 May 2011, was another beautiful day weather-wise; sunny, and warm but not as imposing a sun, as on Monday. I tackled some errands early-on and found myself, with camera-in-hand, watching some trains, both freight-trains, and the AMTRAK Maple Leaf Ltd. going by at one of my favorite observation locations. Of course, I was able to secure a couple of pictures along the way. In the evening, spent some time paying respects at the wake of a long-time friend of my mother-in-law. His name is Reginald Keroack and he had, over the last 11 years become a fixture; a part-and-parcel of the family fabric. In the process, we all became more aware of each other's extended families. As wakes usually become, this one was no exception; a family reunion unfolded. And this was good because it would help make Wednesday an easier day to accept.
Wednesday 1 June 2011, was the Funeral Mass, and interment services, for Reggie. He had become a recent convert to Catholicism. The interment service was conducted with a flag-draped coffin, a military honor-guard, and had TAPS played. It was sunny; 77 degrees, and there was a refreshing breeze in the air. After the services, we were all invited to attend a Keroack family luncheon @ Michael's Banquet Facility in Hamburg, NY.
CODEX~~~I have to find somebody that will trim my beautiful Rose Bush; it needs a definite trimming.
When the luncheon was over, I headed home. Everything was fine. I later tried to arrange some details with Andrew.
CODEX: Titan IIIE-Centaur. Brought in Nicholas from the bullpen.
Thursday 2 June 2011, put in a full day at ECBOE. I had to make up some of the time that I had to forgo, due to the funeral. It was kind of cool because Joel had actually asked me to introduce and walk through the signature re-posting computer procedure to Chris, one of the new interns. It made me feel good that Joel thought I had developed enough ECBOE computer-related skill-sets to 'walk' somebody else through an edit function.
Friday 3 June 2011, was a day loaded with activity and as the afternoon progressed, some shrinking time-lines.
I had a morning meeting with Christa McDonald, a very knowledgeable para-legal with NLS. I am trying to make happen a very very delicate blending of my SSSI with my part-time income. There are guidelines whereby, after a certain period of time, if the P/T income exceeds guidelines, the SSDI can be stopped. THE SSA is sponsoring a program called BOND which allows this blending to exist. Herein lays an example of governmental bureaucratic nonsense, and why I am trying to get legal leverage to overcome this. The SSDI recipient can't INITIATE action to participate in the program. The recipient is invited~~~by a lottery. Come on!! Get real!! The Disabilities-supervising attorney James Sheldon joined in the meeting. Gave me some in-confidence advise to follow-up with.
Codex---NY senior CS
Of course, I could not possibly have this day pass without recognizing astronaut, Ed White. For Ed White, two wrongs, ultimately made it---all wrong for him.
Jun 3, 1965: An American walks in space
One hundred and 20 miles above the earth, Major Edward H. White II opens the hatch of the Gemini 4 and steps out of the capsule, becoming the first American astronaut to walk in space. Attached to the craft by a 25-foot tether and controlling his movements with a hand-held oxygen jet-propulsion gun, White remained outside the capsule for just over 20 minutes. As a space walker, White was to be the first to walk in space but he had been preceded by Soviet cosmonaut Aleksei A. Leonov, who on March 18, 1965, was the first man ever to walk in space.
Keep in mind, this is 1965. And as proclaimed by President John F. Kennedy, in a speech in 1961, we were to get a man on the Moon---by the end of the decade. The reality of this objective was that at this point in the race for the Moon, the Soviets~~~were cleaning-our-clock.
The "space race" between the Soviet Union and the United States might have been on, but our first attempts at catching up, ended in spectacular explosions. On 12 April 1961, Soviet cosmonaut, Yuri Gagarin was launched into orbit around the Earth on Vostok 1. The Soviet Union achieved yet another first when it launched not only the first woman, but also the first civilian, in space-- Valentina Tereshkova, on 16 June 1963, in Vostok 6. Launching a woman was reportedly Korolyov's idea, and it was accomplished purely for propaganda value. Admittedly, it was working!!! Those whom were paying attention, felt another arrow in their heart. Tereshkova was one of a small corps of female cosmonauts who were amateur parachutists, but Tereshkova was the only one to fly. During this time, the Americans announced their ambitious plans for the Project Gemini flight schedule. These plans included major advancements in spacecraft capabilities, including a two-person spacecraft, the ability to change orbits, the capacity to perform an extravehicular activity (EVA), and the goal of docking with another spacecraft. And this TELEGRAPHING of our ambitions was our Achilles Heel. The Soviets continued to use this to keep their propaganda machine, and associated space accomplishments, in high gear. Invariably, the 'firsts' continue to stack against us. On 12 October 1964, the Chief Designer delivered another Soviet space-first when Voskhod 1 launched the first multi-person spacecraft, with three cosmonauts in a modified Vostok spacecraft. With all of the aforementioned, the USA had as yet to launch their first two-manned Gemini Capsule. While it will launch on the top of the USAF Titan-II rocket, this Gemini 3, will launch on March 23, 1965,and do a typically American method-of-operation, a modest---3-orbit space flight.
Pivotal to all of space-exploration is that, at some point, the astronaut/cosmonaut is going to have to venture out of his spacecraft. As we boldly proclaimed our objectives of the Gemini Program, the one objective that was much ANTICIPATED, as if to say; "Go Where No Man Has Gone Before", was our intent to have an astronaut "walk-in-space". Specifically, while being tethered to an umbilical-cord, Astronaut Ed White on June 3, 1965, would float out of the hatch of his Gemini 4 capsule, into the void of space.
This was to be THE FIRST-EVER "SPACEWALK"---or Extravehicular Activity (EVA). This
endeavor was much anticipated because, among other things, it would put America into overdrive with efforts to get neck-and-neck with the Soviets, in the race for that orb, 286,000 miles away.
On 18 March, 1965, the Soviets---pulled off yet another FIRST. And this one DID STEAL OUR THUNDER. This did take the collective-winds right out of our sails. Everybody, from NASA, and President Johnson, to the average American felt the figurative 'blow'. The press was discussing this for weeks. With the escalation of the Viet-Nam War bringing home some real-life reality-checks, this 'race', in particular, was getting called into question.
On this day, Alexei Leonov, born Alexey Arkhipovich Leonov on May 30, 1934; one of the first group of Soviet cosmonauts, became the first human to conduct a SPACEWALK(EVA). This historic spacewalk took place during the Voskhod 2 mission. He was outside the spacecraft for a little more than 12 minutes.
At the end of the spacewalk, his spacesuit had inflated in the vacuum of space and he could not re-enter the airlock. He was able to open a valve and bleed off some pressure. Eventually, he was able to force his way back into the space capsule.
Implemented at the height of the space race, NASA's Gemini program was the least famous of the three U.S.-manned space programs conducted during the 1960s. However, as an extension of Project Mercury, which put the first American in space in 1961, Gemini laid the groundwork for the more dramatic Apollo lunar missions, which began in 1968. The Gemini space flights were the first to involve multiple crews, and the extended duration of the missions provided valuable information about the biological effects of longer-term space travel. When the Gemini program ended in 1966, U.S. astronauts had also perfected rendezvous and docking maneuvers with other orbiting vehicles, a skill that would be essential during the three-stage Apollo moon missions.
Ultimately, even with the very modest start-up, The Gemini/Titan Program would be the unheralded stepping-stone. By-and-large history's forgotten legacy, this two-year segment of our space-exploration actually had us breaking away from the Soviets by leaps-and-bounds, yielding to the Apollo/Saturn Program, and a now unobstructed path to the moon.
But Ed White would not be a part of any of this glory. He was 'wronged' twice. The second time would cost him, his life. On January 27, 1967 tragedy struck on the launch pad during a pre-flight test for Apollo I, scheduled to be the first Apollo manned mission. It would have been launched on February 21, 1967, but Astronauts Virgil Grissom, Edward White, and Roger Chaffee lost their lives when a fire swept through the Command Module (CM). An astronaut, probably Chaffee, announced almost casually over the intercom: "Fire, I smell fire." Two seconds later, Astronaut White's voice was more insistent: "Fire in the cockpit." Before spacecraft technicians could reach it, the command module ruptured. Flame and thick black clouds of smoke billowed out, filling the room. Now a new danger arose. Many feared that the fire might set off the launch escape system atop Apollo. This, in turn, could ignite the entire service structure. Instinct told the men to get out while they could. Many did so, but others tried to rescue the astronauts.
The intense heat and dense smoke drove one after another back, but finally they succeeded. Unfortunately, it was too late. The astronauts were dead. Firemen arrived within three minutes of the hatch opening, doctors soon thereafter. A medical board determined that the astronauts died of carbon monoxide asphyxia, with thermal burns as contributing causes. The board could not say how much of the burns came after the three had died. Fire had destroyed 70% of Grissom's spacesuit, 20% of White's and 15% of Chaffee's.
Astronaut Edward H. White, Know This; Never Forgotten.
In the evening, of Friday, the family and I attended the...Students Of The David DeMarie Dance Studios Presents---THAT'S DANCIN', Recital. Of interest in particular is our 6-year-old grand-daughter Brooke Lyn Miller's first ever dance-recital. She was part of an ensemble that did a tap-dance routine called BEAUTIFUL BABY. Brooke demonstrated a confidence and precision skill-set throughout the performance of her TAP-DANCE selection.
From a personal standpoint, there were three performances that impacted myself. There were one duet and two solo performances, and they were of the modern-ballet genre. there was ONE MOMENT MORE, which was performed by twins Kalene & Kristen F. and DREAMER which was performed by Kristen F. The performance that brought me to my knees was WITH OR WITHOUT YOU performed by Toula B. And I was free to have a catharsis because I was all by myself in the handicap staging area. It was as if Toula was doing a command-performance just for me. Using a Military Dress Green top-coat as a motif, she would intermittently put on---and then remove---this coat as she moved gracefully, classically, and with a very feminine presence, across the floor depicting the turbulence of young-love in today's volunteer military. With our Country involved in so many places around the world, today's military service people are called on to deploy repeatedly. So over, and over again, this young lady has a service-beau who is with her---and often, without her. Toula's performance was riveting, and compelling. I felt---every heartbreak; every separation, each time that jacket was removed. Between the WITH OR WITHOUT YOU background music(it was only the music; no lyric were said), and the military theme, I was impacted on SO MANY LEVELS. It cut me to my very core. And I am not ashamed to admit it. When Nicole & Brian came up with Brooke Lyn, to say goodbye because Brooke was starting to fade-out, Nicole side-barred me with..."besides Brooke's---I know which one got to you!!" My Nicole!! I love her!!
--{-@
Hickok
The Promise
NB: For those of you whom may live, or have lived in the Buffalo and NORTHTOWNS area, there are three streets that run off of Niagara Falls Boulevard just North of the I 290 which are named to honor the three Apollo astronauts who perished on that fateful day in January of 1967. They are Gus Grissom Drive, Edward White Drive, and Roger Chaffee Drive---in Amherst NY.
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