The Vastness of Loneliness

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.

There are things we won't recall,
And feelings we'll never find
It's taken so long to see it,
'Cause we never seemed to have the time
There was always something more important to do,
More important to say
But "I love you" wasn't one of those things,
And now it's too late
Do you remember~~~DO YOU REMEMBER; Phil Collins




Incubating for the better part of 5 years, I come to life as The Voyager I spacecraft on September 5, 1977. And as Fate would have it, I have a twin. This twin, Voyager II, came to life earlier, if you can imagine, on August 20, 1977. I don't fully grasp how all of this happened because while the automated-inorganic part of the US Space Program; space probes, in the early Seventies was still basking in the glow of the successes of the manned space program, by the late Seventies a whole different tone had taken place. And in its wake, of which I don't fully understand all this gobble-dee-gook, finances and a budget become an issue.

But for what I, and my twin, is expected to do---timing is everything. We HAD to be launched in 1977 to take advantage of a favorable planetary alignment that existed for the objectives of viewing Jupiter and Saturn in the late 1970's and early 1980's. From what I am to understand, this alignment takes place once every 150 years.




When I came to life, it was so revealing!! It was like---there was this HOT button, in some control-tower, somewhere in this area called Complex 41, that was pushed. In so doing, all kinds of bells and whistles are going off. In this 'birthing' venture, it wasn't a coming-out-of-the-womb, kind-of-thing. I got catapulted!!! I mean---somebody lit a candle under me, and I was on the roller coaster-ride of my life~~~or at least, so I thought. My alter-ego, at a childhood age, thought he was getting the roller-coaster ride of his life when his dad throttled the sedan he was in, as it was going over the Fuhrmann Blvd overpass. That 'roller-coaster' ride wasn't even close!! Additionally, this catapulting was just the start of a sling-shot effect. By the time I would be working my way to my mileposts out here in the great unknown, I would moving along, and LOVING IT, at 38K; MPH!!! In the meantime, my silly little alter-ego down on earth is looking at his wimpy speedometer with its 'NOT-YET' markings!!

This candle that lit up; what a masterpiece of melding together state-of-the-art rocketry technology. Keep in mind, at birth, I am a 'payload' of 1592 lbs. In terms of an unmanned space probe, from a late Seventies era, I am the Cadillac of this cutting-edge technology. So it is going to take a rocket, with plenty of testosterone, to get myself, and my twin, on this accelerated flight path. What is concocted by NASA is a TITAN IIIE Rocket, with two adjacent Centaur booster rockets coupled alongside.



As I have already mentioned, I am the Cadillac of late-Seventies space-probe technology. The most visible recognition from the 2011-eye is my 3.7meter Dish High-Gain Antenna!! I also have these few antler-type extensions coming from my 'bus'(business) housing that adds to my 'smart' look. I have two planetary radio astronomy and plasma wave antenna. Included is this radioisotope thermoelectric generator as a lower limb, along with a magnetometer boom acting as another limb. My neck is this tower assembly that has a 'head' attached, which includes all kinds of imaging apparatii. My brains; the computer is the leading data-processor of this era. While it is still a 'trade' secret, my transceiver data leads me to believe that I am controlled by a version of the RCA CDP1802 "COSMAC" microprocessor. While such claims are not substantiated by primary references, the CDP1802 was, however, used in the later Galileo spacecraft. Obviously top-shelf!! And I am so excited about this technology. I am going to be storing all of the data that I acquire~~~on Eight-Track-Tapes!! This I KNOW, is going to cutting-edge---for years to come. The basis of my power is the Pu-238(plutonium) isotope. My bi-metallic thermocouples that convert the heat generated, into electricity will degrade over time, so the actual power will decrease. but at this point, nobody is sweating this detail? I, and my twin, are off to see new worlds within Our Solar System!!

When one is young and alive and still so full of vitality and vim-and-vigor, there is just one primary objective that the mind is focused on; getting the job done. And while I can't talk to my twin about this, I am sure this is what is on his mind, too. So off we go, into the wild-blue-yonder; off we go, into the sky!!




My twin's trajectory is designed to take advantage of an unusually convenient alignment of the planets allowing the inclusion of the Uranus and Neptune fly-by in the Twin probe's mission. I was launched thereafter, but on a faster trajectory which enables me to reach Jupiter and Saturn sooner at the cost of not visiting the outer planets. Although Pluto is possible in the trajectory, it will be eventually decided that I should make a close fly-by of the Titan moon while examining Saturn instead, which would preclude a later fly-by of Pluto. I am photographing Jupiter in January 1979. my closest approach to Jupiter is on March 5, 1979, at a distance of about 217,000 miles from the planet's center. Due to the greater photographic resolution allowed by a closer approach, most observations of the moons, rings, magnetic fields, and the radiation belt environment of the Jovian system are made during the 48-hour period that bracketed the closest approach. As I am flying by this miraculous revelation, I finish photographing the Jovian system in April 1979. The most surprising discovery in the Jovian system is the existence of volcanic activity on the moon Io, which has not been observed either from the ground, or by the previously launched brothers, Pioneer 10 or 11.

The gravitational-assist trajectories at Jupiter were successfully carried out by the both of us, and we both went on to visit Saturn and its system of moons and rings. My Saturnian flyby occurred in November 1980, with the closest approach on November 12, 1980, when I came within 77,000 miles of Saturn's cloud-tops. My cameras were able to discern complex structures in the rings of Saturn, and the additional remote sensing instruments studied the atmospheres of Saturn and its giant moon Titan.

My twin did Jupiter on July 9, 1979. It came within 350,000 miles of the planet's cloud tops. He discovered a few rings around Jupiter, as well as volcanic activity on the moon Io, too. His approach to Saturn occurred on August 26, 1981.

While passing behind Saturn, Saturn's upper atmosphere was probed with his radio link to gather information on atmospheric temperature and density profiles.

After the fly-by of Saturn, my twin's camera platform locked up briefly, putting plans to officially extend the mission to Uranus and Neptune in jeopardy. Fortunately, the men behind the curtain at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, were able to fix the problem (caused by an overuse that temporarily depleted its lubricant), and Twin II was given the go-ahead to explore the Uranian system.

While my twin gets to Unranus on January 24, 1986, and Neptune's contact occurs on August 25, 1989, the flight controllers decided to also perform a close fly-by of Neptune's moon, Triton. The gravitational pull of Neptune bends the trajectory of my Twin downward in this permanent path, and if not interfered with, will eventually have him encounter the star Sirius.

During the 1990s, I overtake the slower traveling Pioneer 10, to become the most distant man-made object from Earth!! And now, as I am passing through, studying the boundaries of the Solar System, including the Kuiper belt, the heliopause, the heliosphere, and finally, interstellar space, I am discovering something else as I now have gotten older and a bit tired as I am now running on a dwindling plutonium supply and antiquated micro-processors. I realize~~~how lonely I am.

My twin, bearing south, is now nine billion miles from home and the physics of momentum says that he too is headed for deep space; never to return. And I~~~I am eleven billion miles from Earth, and I too, am headed to this deep unknown. This solitude is so empty. so scary, so final. As my dwindling capacities allow me to explore the cosmos, bursting out of the Solar System to enter deep space, what will become of me? I can't even console, or get consolation from my twin, as we were never equipped to talk to one another. There is such an abyss all around me. The promise of all those lights in the distance~~~are light-years away. In knowing that, the faint glimmer of hope, in the Ophiuchus constellation, fades away.

Will I happenstance upon a space probe from The NETHERWORLDS that will charge my batteries; giving me a Second Chance?? Or will a sophisticated shepherd life-form give me a new-lease on life with some retro-fitting and refurbishing.

My greatest fear is that I will just fade away; that I will just cease to exist. Just become a form of cold hard inert steel, in perpetual motion.

As we Twins are extremely small, compared to the vastness of interstellar space, the probability of a space faring civilization encountering us, is very small. My twin brother and I, will eventually stop emitting any kind of electromagnetic radiation. If we are ever found by an alien species, it will most likely be far in the future as the nearest star on my trajectory will only be reached~~~in 40,000 years.




My existence will only then, come alive, if the life-form can discern The Voyager Golden Records!!!

--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise

Friday, the 13Th; An Anniversary~~~A Reflection with a Tinge of Sadness in the Heart

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.

...Can it be that it was all so simple then
or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
tell me would we? Could we?~~~The Way We Were; Barbra Streisand


The most significant experience for me this week was recognizing an anniversary of sorts. I had to take the time to recognize it, and additionally reference it in a couple of social-networking sights, for two reasons. Number one, I had to recognize it from a personal accomplishment standpoint. Frankly, it was a huge undertaking; on a scale heretofore, never attempted by myself. Number two, I had to recognize it for the merits of what this pilot program; avenue if you will, represented. This endeavor was meant to have some staying-power, particularly for the Lower West Side community it was being tailored for.

The anniversary date was the 13th of May, 2010. I think the strongest emotion that runs through me---is sadness. Even with all the difficulty that presented itself in making all of this a reality, the saddest aspect is that this, while being targeted as a pilot project, would probably end up being---a flash in the pan. While the administrators of the Portal Program, and The Belle Center, were at least counting on this running annually, or with some wishful-thinking running semi-annually, it appears it will just run---the one-time.

And that hurts, to be honest with you. Definitely, such a project is needed, particularly for the underprivileged and disadvantaged segments of our communities. Because of restrictions brought about by finances and transportation, individuals in these communities may simply not be aware of all that is available in trade and vocational training---to open employment doors. And, I AM SPEAKING FROM FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE ON THIS. I did not know myself, what different trade and vocational avenues were available, or the entry-level-training therein, until I personally got intensely involved with this project. After initiating efforts to network organized -labor operatives, and being given tours of these entry-level training, and classroom facilities, did I finally become aware of the wealth and richness of the training facilities, and the dedicated administrators whom added personality to them. Truly, that was the priceless experience in all of this. The personalities that are encountered in all this, cannot be measured. And it crosses gender. Charade Kittle, and Angela Blue were fascinating to work with. And by the same token, so was Gary Bernardo, Jim Smolinski, Richard Nader, Mike Wach, Jeffery Brylski, Tom Burke, Paul Brown, and Paul Leone. Then in the private sectors, there were very warm receptions provided for me by Pat Reagan of Rural/Metro EMT Svcs, and Vito Casoni from CDC Industries. I have to add that the personality of Sargent Ronald Hall of the United States Marine Corps, put some fascinating flavoring to the afternoon portion of the event. I should also add that Sargent Ronald Hall was literally the very first commitment I received as a vendor willing to participate!!

Then, as Fate would have it, one workday in early October of 2010, after all of this had materialized, and been forged, and mobilized, I come into The Belle Center,and am informed that due to AmeriCorps Buffalo grant monies being drastically reduced, I was being given an exit interview, and advised that my term at The Belle Center was now concluded. It was not that the suffering and misery of the underprivileged and disadvantaged had concluded. But my effort to impact that, had.

To recognize that small effort to give back; that effort to make a difference, I posted the BELOW, on a couple of Social-Networking sites:

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
Thursday 13 May 2010. Leveraging his union affiliation with the I B T; Local 375, Lou Marconi is able to develop an extensive network of Organized labor, and their associated entry-level training programs to effect the first-ever VOCATIONAL TRADE FAIR for the Portal Program at The Belle Center, 104 Maryland St Buffalo NY 14201. Such a venture on this scale, had never been undertaken in the center's thirty-four year history. Executives and administrators, as well as the vendors and the public that participated, considered the VOCATIONAL TRADE FAIR a tremendous success.

The idea of ENTRY-LEVEL-TRAINING-PROGRAMS as an out-reach theme to the underprivileged, and disadvantaged, to get young adults work-world-ready was additionally embraced by other institutions and organizations in both the private and public sectors. Along with Organized Labor, the complement of vendors was punctuated with many local non-profits, some trade-oriented junior colleges, a couple of specialty manufacturing firms, and the US Army, US Coast Guard, the US Navy, and THE USMC, that set up "shop" on the gymnasium floor of The Belle Center.

In Comments---I added the below, because I felt it was important to recognize some operatives at The Belle Center that allowed me carte-blanche to make it happen:

I am grateful for the platform Mike Szymanski,Jack Norton, and Nestor Hernandez allowed me to launch from. And I am grateful for such Labor operatives as Gary Bernardo and Angela Blue whose advice and visibility facilitated the comfort-zone for so many others to collaborate on this pilot project.

I even received some feedback from one of the social-networking sites and truly appreciate the vote of confidence and the support:

This was a major undertaking and you had no diagram from past events to follow. You should be very proud of this accomplishment and for the many lives that have and will benefit in the future. We certainly could have used this type of exposure to various training/employment opportunities in our youth!

Maybe I can get in touch with Gary Bernardo and Jim Smolinski of The I. U. O. E. in Lakeview, NY~~~and turn on my after-burners for their CONSTRUCTION CAREER DAYS extravaganza---in September!!

With bin Laden killed, the Arab Spring, the chaos in Syria, the stalemate in Libya, trying to keep our Navy SEALS a secret, the nuclear power plant in Fukashima still in trouble, the storm devastation at home, and The Mississippi Rising(once it 'burned'), I am still awaiting my ENDEAVOR to launch. Watch---it will launch on a day I am Downtown; maddening.

--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise
A of C

Building A Cathedral; Motherhood

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.

There's a girl who no one sees
There's a girl who's left alone
There's a heart that beats in silence
For the life she's never known
For the life she's never known~~~There's A Girl; Secret Garden

As a Man, and a Son, the two submissions below, is my humble way
of saying thank you from the bottom of my Heart for the VIRTUE that constitutes
Motherhood. And what really needs to be recognized is that so much of Motherhood
is applied without recognition, or grand-standing. It is instead often done from
the silence of an unconditionally Loving Heart. As The Gospels in the New Testament
reflect on The Virgin Mary, in her roll as the Mother of Jesus Christ, she kept her thoughts and feelings...within the silence, of Her Heart.

Below is included two pieces of prose that was forwarded to
me in an email~~~some time ago. I thought these to be most fitting tributes to Womanhood; Motherhood. Motherhood is the very bedrock of our species, beginning with the creation, and then the nurturing of her offspring. These are reflections of this most precious gift; Motherhood.

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men...
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in...
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend..
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT [WE] FORGET THEIR WORTH.

The second submission of prose is an expression of my devotion and admiration to Mothers, and their gift to us~~~Motherhood. I see Motherhood portrayed in the metaphor in which she is erecting a Cathedral. One may not fully appreciate it, because it is not seen in its whole; in its entirety. As well, it may not be recognized for the grandeur of its scale for a generation, or so. But in this length of time,there is recognized the legacy of how the influences of the artisan, Mother, gets passed along. To subsequent generations, Mother, is credited for making a rich and colorful family-tree; a rich and colorful Cathedral.

">It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of
response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while
I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm
thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking,
or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the
corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The
invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing
more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being.
I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to
answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order,
'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's
my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and
the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now,
they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen
again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from
a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she
stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all
put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry
for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me
with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you
this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her
inscription:'With admiration for the greatness of what you are
building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I
would discover what would become for me, four life-changing
truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say
who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their
names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they
would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and
expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled
by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to
visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a
workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was
puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time
carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof,
No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It
was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no
cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute
errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are
building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it
will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great
builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they
will never see finished, to work on something that their name
will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals
could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few
people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the
friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom
gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then
she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens
for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself.
I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is
anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're going to love
it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen
if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that
the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at
the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of
invisible mothers.

Great Job, MOM!

The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will
not protect you.

To all the wonderful mothers out there:

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it, is what makes the difference."
--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise

Why Teachers Drink; FIND the " X "

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.

Hear my silent prayer
Heed my quiet call
When the dark and blue surround you

Step into my sigh
Look inside the light
You will know that I have found you~~~Dreamcatcher; Secret Garden

As we go through our emails, we invariably find in our in-box, a FORWARD. It is one of those emails that has a life of its own because it gets moved along through a community kind of mailing---that continues to get attached to other communities, and therefore moves exponentially along. I will, on the whole, open these and respectfully take in their content.

I received one of these, this week, that tore-me-up, it was so funny. I would have to say that of all of these FORWARDS that I received to date, this one was far-and-away, the most humorous. The title of the forwarding is: WHY TEACHERS DRINK. This is ironic because this humorous forwarding would have a coincidental tie-in to one of the most profound moments in American History, and World History for that matter, that had taken place this week. What the forwarding amounted to was a series of questions that teachers had placed on tests, and the responses given by the students. A couple of the most hilarious are included below:


Attach image of Nitrate/Dayrate here


This is the image of the student naming species~~~and using arithmetic skills


The MOST outrageous to me was this one:



This is the image that just sent me over the top!!



FIND THE " X "!?!?!? Instead of going into this convoluted Geometrical evaluation, the respondent just saw it pragmatically~~~Here it is!!!! The raw simplicity of the response just had me laughing so hard, that my sides were splitting. I was actually gasping for air!!

The coincidence!?!?

Find the " X "?!?!? In real life, they did.

Attachment for the bin Laden image



The geometric question in the quiz, is a triangle shape~~~very very much as the fortified Lair that was the posh residence of Osama bin Laden, the al-Quada mastermind, ring-leader and inspiration for the many terrorist attacks, both here, and abroad. While we thought this Ernesto "Che" Guevara-type character, was living as a hermit, in the caves somewhere along the Afghanistan/Pakistan border, we instead discover he is living in the lap of luxury~~~in downtown Abbottabad, in the outer suburban ring of Islamabad, the capital of Pakistan. The other irony to this geometric shape is where the "x" is placed in the quiz. It happens to be just about where the three-storied bin Laden living quarters existed in this fortified complex.

The significance of the " X "????

In a SPECIAL EDITION, on the 20 May 2011 cover of TIME Magazine, is criss-crossed, in red blood-lines~~~a photo image of Osama bin Laden.

As Richard Stengel, Managing editor of TIME Magazine essays:

"For the fourth time in [TIME Magazine's] history, we've put a red X over a face on our cover. The first time marked the death of Adolf Hitler in 1945. In 2003 we revived the X for Saddam Hussein on the occasion of the U.S.-led coalition's takeover of Baghdad. Three years later, we put it on the face of Abu Mousab al-Zarqawi, the scourge of Iraq. Now we use it to signal the death of the world's most-infamous terrorist, Osama bin Laden.

Bin Laden's death is the bookend to an extraordinary decade that began with the 9/11 attacks. He lived in our imagination, in our fears and, as it turns out, in a quiet suburb of Islamabad. His death comes at a time when his influence was at a low ebb. In all the conflicts and victories of the riotous Arab Spring, no one has been chanting his name or carrying his image. But in a curious was, his death brings him back front and center, if only for a moment. It is the end of an era in some ways, but not the end of our struggle against terrorism."

From insane humor, to a dead-serious dramatic development and narrative, " X "---marked the Spot, this Week.

--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise

Moment of Truth

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.

Goin' out of my head over you
Out of my head over you Out of my head day and night
Night and day and night, Wrong or right...GOIN' OUT OF MY HEAD~~~Little Anthony and the Imperials

On Monday 25 April, I get myself into the ECBOE, and the day is pretty much setting itself up
as any other day, at the 'grinding-wheel'. Along with my assignments, I will take a quick break to maybe check my email or reflect on the last four days of being on one hell of a roller-coaster ride, which now included the sobering fact that the Buffalo Sabres hockey team lost game-six Sunday, in front of their home-town enthusiasts, in over-time. Being that they were up, 3-2 in games, and in front of the home-town crowd, this WAS the game to win. Having to go back to Philadelphia, to win the series, was going to be one hell of an uphill battle.

And of course, above and beyond everything else, is this Sword of Damocles still hanging over
my head regarding my biopsy. I also get this OOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOO email from a friend telling me that Bob Marzullo can't make it to Buffalo for a family-wedding because he is now very sick. This turn-of-events puts a damper on a plan that is already in-progress arranging to include him in a get-together Wednesday evening @ Malone's on Delaware Avenue in Kenmore, NY. It is my intention to keep everything going regarding the rendezvous because, frankly, it just made more sense to go with the flow.

Monday is moving along, and at 2:20PM, I get a call on my cell phone. The phone number comes up on mycaller ID---and I recognize it. My heart pounds; a million thoughts are racing through my mind.
Being that it is ringing, I know I will have to answer it. I wasn't supposed to hear about this till at least Wednesday. It is Doctor Doyle's office, and I know he is not calling to invite me as a guest for a ride on his new Cessna 157 piper-cub airplane. It is my MOMENT OF TRUTH. "Hello Colleen," I opened with. She starts with..."we know how anxious you have been, we have the results; they are negative." I wanted to reach through 'the lines', and kiss her!!! I was happy, but I was getting choked up and I know she must have sensed it as I thanked her and continued through the back-and-forth conversation about blood-work follow-up, and another visit. Their continued concern is the above-normal PSA reading. When I was done with that conversation, because my cubicle gives me a little privacy, I proceeded to wipe my eyes and pulled out my blessed rosary, and put in on my desk-top, keeping it there the rest of the afternoon.

Spared of a dreaded death-sentence. I am so grateful for the so-many-prayers that were raised for me.

Tuesday 26 April, is another day of fits and starts. I mean sometimes I wonder why I even go to the playground. This is where everybody is supposed to play nice!! I know I am not going to get picked anyways. Alone again, naturally. Having a NEW LEASE ON LIFE---I decide to enjoy a couple of things, on my own!! Why not. Went over to Coronation, and said a decade of the rosary as a gesture of gratitude, in my van, across the street from the Church. Then went and got myself a banana split.

As it got into the evening, there was now a few things that I was concerned about. The Buffalo Sabres, the Chicago Blackhawks, and going out of my head. Both hockey teams were facing the seventh and deciding games in their respective series. Both lost; heart and soul emptied.

Wednesday 27 April, is glum. The News is glum, Sports is glum, and the Weather is foreboding.
While I am at the ECBOE, I am, in between my assignments, trying to still get a handle on who will be coming to Malone's. I want to at least give Malone's the courtesy of a HEAD-COUNT. And I am thinking that I may even have a couple of folks showing up early because they may want to just make sure that I am being provided a helping-hand. It is early afternoon when I call Malone's. At about 3:30PM, I check my email again, just to see if anybody may STILL be responding.

Nope.

But!!! What I do have, is a WBEN Radio TORNADO-WATCH email. Great; just what I need, more complications. I have to now, make an executive decision. Certainly the rendezvous could always be rescheduled, I thought. I did not want to be having this fellowship taking place if, while we are trying to have fun, the winds are howling so bad outside that the guests are grabbing their cell phones every fifteen minutes to check home and making sure there is a roof still attached to the house. What did I do??? From the ECBOE, I called Malone's, and canceled the reservation. When I got home, I sent an email to my COMMUNITY advising that due to the anticipated inclement weather, the rendezvous at Malone's was to be postponed. Still worried about those whom may not be getting the message because they might have been out on the road all day, I sought to camp out around the Malone's area to intercept.

Well!!! Lo and behold, by 7:30PM, the disastrous weather is still NOWHERE IN SIGHT; NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Instead, a few of the group, does end up showing up @ Malone's---so we had a toned-down version of a rendezvous, anyway. It ended up being Norb Warnes, Sue McKnight, Blaine Wegrzynowski, and myself at the fellowship. It was good. Nothing insane; no sheathing of any swords!! From there I went home---caught up on a few emails, and went to bed.

I'll be damned, though. Just could not sleep.

Thursday, 28 April, was a good day. Got through work, without any incidences!! And at the ECBOE, that is an accomplishment, in its own right!! Had to get home though because I had the plumber scheduled to come over to do a wholesale roto-root of our drainage system. The measure was a preventative-maintenance one. We had on problems, but the roto-rooting hadn't been done in a while. Better to be safe, than sorry. While the plumber was doing his thing, I was taking care of some personal business. It was like the miracle at the Wedding Feast at Cana. It took a while, but in the end, the bouquet was better than ever!!! I think what was helping me was this inspirational music I was absorbing on FACEBOOK!!! Along the way to exploring this music for my betterment, I found a LINK, that inspired me to do something for my little sister's birthday, Friday!! Someone had placed a LINK having to do with Van Morrison, and THEM. A light in my head, went off!!! Before the SHADOWS OF NIGHT did it, G-L-O-R-I-A; was done by THEM. I thought this would be an excellent way to contribute to the celebration of my sister Gloria's Birthday. So I got some help, because I don't know how to do this myself, in posting the THEM; G-L-O-R-I-A---LINK on her WALL.

She loved it!!!

Friday 29 April, was really one beautiful day!! It really was. Everything was in Harmony, again. It was my little sister's Birthday. And even as there was death and destruction going on all around the world, it wasn't getting any coverage---because Prince William Arthur Philip Louis & Catherine Elizabeth Middleton were getting married to become the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge!! And about 1.5 Billion people worldwide---were watching. On this particular day, England was getting all the attention.

All-in-all, it was a great Friday. It was just like feeling whole again.

I had many many things to be grateful for. I felt I had to go back, and say thank you. I feel that
the prayers that I had said in front of Coronation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Church last Thursday, had been answered. So half-way through my web-log essay on Saturday 30 April, I decide to go to the West Side Church---to say thank you. The Vietnamese priest was pretty cool. He let me in before the 4:00PM Mass to light TWO Candles, and to take photos. I was pleasantly surprised. In the renewed glory of a recent face-lift and a fresh coat of paint, years of a near-abandoned hollowed existence, The Coronation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Church has found redemption as it reaches out to the burgeoning Vietnamese community of the Middle West Side. The Father Andrew Tu Minh Ngyuyen and Deacon Bob were impressed that I decided to stay to observe Mass. They are going to Love me, Upstairs!!!! Two Masses---in one week!!
Mr & Mrs Digati were so intrigued with the scooter-ed outsider, that they stopped me after Mass to inquire about who I was---and what my connection to the Church, was.

Those whom know me, know that I will go on, and on, and on!!! They loved all the details, thoroughly impressed with all the names I still remembered, and asked if I will return.

Guaranteed!!!
--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise

NB: codex; A of C, and not the Articles of Confederation





...work in progress

1959; 59~~~and Staying Alive!!

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.

Feel the city breakin
and everybody shakin'
and were stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive~~~Staying Alive; The Bee-Gees

So Wednesday, 20 April, I encounter another hiccup---at the ECBOE. This has happened a couple of times already, So I was kind of assuming 'everybody' in the building would be kind of on the same page---by now.

Nope!!

I mean, it is 5:05PM, for crying-out-loud!! What is everybody in such a hurry, for!! I get downstairs to the power-door; ramp-area to egress the building by scooter---to find that the power-door is ALREADY security-locked. In effect, I am locked in the building; gggrrr. Because this has happened before, I now have the building engineer's phone number to call so that I can get the door unlocked. Here is the kicker. I call; he answers, and assures me he is on his way. Now, this isn't is the Empire State Building!! I am a patient man, but it is 5:20PM---and still no engineer. I call the number again---no answer. Great!! Now I'm thinking that he has forgotten me~~~and went home, himself. I decide to stay put; thinking that I don't want to end up being like ships passing in the night---and miss my connection. At 5:35PM, I make another call. This time, gratefully, the call is answered. It is the engineer; profusely apologizing!! He got wrapped up in his boiler-room project, and forgot all about me. When the call concluded, he was there, unlocking the door; having had no more than a minute elapse. Finally, finding my way home.

Thursday, 21 April, was a day punctuated with emotions. The underpinning of these emotional responses was the anticipation, and the accompanying angst of the scheduled Good Friday biopsy of the prostate. Thursday is only a part-time day at the ECBOE, so I decide that I will supper at the American Legion Post, in Hamburg, NY. They have a Thursday-Night-Spaghetti-Dinner, and this is going to be the last one till September. In attending the supper, I am overwhelmed by the richness of friendship; friendship developed through reunions and these American Legion Post Casino excursions. What was presented to me were some very very thoughtful gifts; gestures of encouragement for the Friday biopsy procedure. On the one hand I was given a paper-weight with Biblical prose applied to it, and some simulated gem-stones having Faith, Laugh, Relax, and Dream etched on them. On the other hand, I was given a Rosary Prayer Booklet, and a Rosary~~~that was Blessed.

Now these gestures, in their own right, are getting me all choked up inside. When I find out that the rosary is blessed at Sts Peter & Paul Church, in Hamburg, NY---I am using my napkin to wipe away tears. You see, on the cusp of a procedure reminding us of the frailties of life, I was wisked back to the vitality of youth, and my first foster-home experience. This was 1957, when I was in first-grade and the second semester of that experience being spent at Sts Peter & Paul grade school. While this was a so-long-ago, milepost, holding the rosary in my hand had brought memories back in a vivid way, and my emotional roller-coaster ride for the evening was now only coming off its first hill.

With the supper now over, I was still looking for an 'answer'. I was still searching to hang my sense of need on a reclamation; a redemption source. In starting back home, I made my way over to the West Side. Of course, while I am on my own quest I am also aware that the many Catholic Church communities are having Holy Thursday services which includes the washing of the feet. With traffic, and my scooter situation, I am looking for a shrine-kind-of-display to do some praying; some reflecting, and finding some comfort. Where do I start?? Why not the first decade of the first set of mysteries; The Joyous Mysteries~~~The Annunciation. On-and-off, I spent 5 years of my grade-school experience there, and so I thought I would find what I was looking for. But alas, this just hadn't taken me across the threshold; given me my watershed moment. My thought was to check-out Nativity Church, because it was nearby. But then a voice said that should go to the last decade of the last mysteries; The Glorious Mysteries~~~The Coronation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Church. My response; sure---why not. I had 'heard' that the Church had gotten a new lease on life; that it was no longer inoperative as so many of the West Side parish churches now are. Many of these parishes are now nothing more than hollowed reminders of an era long ago, before the late sixties; early seventies mass migrations to suburbia where absentee-landlords, and urban decay---whittled away their vitality. Parishes like Holy Cross, The Immaculate Conception, Our Lady of Loretto, Nativity, Annunciation, Cathedral, and Coronation were the respective linchpin to thriving Catholic, and, by-and-large Italian-American communities.

In getting to The Coronation of the BVM, while there is no visible shrine, I was very pleasantly surprised at a level of activity that I had not expected to see. Coronation had come back; come alive---big time. There were vehicles---parked all over the place. For me and my van, while I made for an 'improvised' vehicle standing-position, it was nonetheless, a place I was going to stay---to reflect, and pray.

Due largely to a very large and loyal Roman Catholic Viet-Namese immigrant population, Coronation has found a new-lease-on-life. There were many many men, women, and children hussling in for the 8:00PM Services. And I will add---they weren't attired in rice-paddy; burlap-cloth either. They were all dressed in their Sunday-best!!

In observing the new-found energy, I found myself getting immersed into an emotional baptism. Here I was, at 59 years old, sitting in front of a grade school I had attended, as a foster-child, in 1959. I was 8 years old at the time, and had so much of my life still ahead of me. And---I was happy. Even though it was a foster-home, the Lajacano's and Sansone's treated Victor and myself well. And everybody at Coronation---liked me!! I was always wearing that 'Little-Louie' smile.

In that moment of 'seeing' the 8-year-old on the one hand, and realizing, at 59, the frailty of life on the other...I lost it. I was in the van; I did not care. In my weeping, I had also found my Reclamation, and called out; "I give myself over to you, Jesus." "Whatever Your plan, I give myself to You."

I wiped my tears, made a sign of the cross, pulled myself back together, decided I was going to find out if this Church is handicap-accessible to attend, and left for home.

Friday; Good Friday, 22 April---1PM. Had the biopsy. Everything seemed to go as planned.
Will find out the results by the end of the week. The Doctor even showed me a couple of images of the sonogram. I was just amazed with all the technology involved.

By Friday evening, it went from Good Friday~~~to GREAT FRIDAY||||
All of Sabre-Nation was a-buzz!!! In the first period of overtime, Tyler Ennis, the fleet-of-foot, left-handed rookie forward took a snap wrist-shot off of a rebound on the right-side just below the face-off circle---to beat the Philadelphia Flyers 4-3. The win sends the preliminary round series back to Buffalo for game six. At this point, the Sabres are ahead---3 games to 2.

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive~~~Staying Alive
--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise

PS: It might not be---Always Sunny in Philadelphia||

"Don't waste your life in doubts and fears: spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours or ages that follow it."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Speed Bump~~~that Rattled Me

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...(the opening lines of David Copperfield as written by Charles Dickens;inspired by MTM). Or at least this ACCOUNT will, perhaps, have a reflection on whether I'm going to be the hero in my own life.

“I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.”
Lord Byron

Upon coming into the Board of Elections the morning of Wednesday 13 April, I proceed to my cubicle and start the ritual to get myself up-and-running for the edit/inquiry tasks of the day. In so doing, I am minding my own business and will impart a 'good-morning'---or two, along the way, to anyone who may initiate the greeting to me. It is about 08:45AM when, behind me, I hear my name called-out. In turning around to answer the call, it is brought to my attention that ring-leader Bill G. & Company have placed a SPEED-BUMP 'practical-joke' across the 'commons' area of the office. I say '& Company" because he could not have done what existed, by himself. On the floor was a line of masked tape that ran for at least eight feet between Sandy's and Chuck's desk. And---there was two pre-printed SPEED BUMP signs attached to the commons-facing panels, of two desks included in this charade.

While everybody that has now punch-in, is having a little fun with this, I am trying my hardest to deal with this in as 'light' a way, as well. Deep inside, I am upset that this kind of 'practical joke' is being done at my expense. I forced myself to chuckle as if to laugh-it-off; keeping an even-tempered disposition throughout.

In reality, I felt this was uncalled for, and deep inside, I felt I was being mocked; being bullied. First of all, because there is much pedestrian traffic, I am mindful that I have to be careful, and keep the speed setting modified to 'slow'. And secondly, because it is so laborious to mount and dismount my scooter, unplug and replug it, I keep my scooter activity to a minimum---usually just to go to the bathroom. I even only get one cup of coffee---unless Jim, or Bill N. offer to get a 'second' cup for me. And~~~because I don't want to 'flag' that I am going to the bathroom, I try to be as slow and discreet as possible with my scooter, to effect that kind of break-time activity.

How can someone even CONCEIVE to consider an action like this, and just think it is a benign 'practical joke'?? And then to take the next step---to effect it; and thence by doing so, will feel comfortable that he will get the 'community' seal-of-approval~~~just cut me to my very core.

And to have Chuck M. walk by my cubicle on his way to getting coffee, and deadpan "it is funny", was like reaching into my chest and pulling out my heart, while it is still pumping.

I shouldn't get political, but this is my journal---so I will. This Bill G, and Chuck M. are both Republican. My immediate inference to this is to see a consistency with the political affiliation and their personal disposition on people whom suggest a liability on society. Rugged individualism; self-reliance, are the tenets of this ideology. And therefore persons, as myself, are expendable---earmarked for Auschwitz.

And not to further show a validation of this line of thinking---but I will, anyway. It is by now 10:00AM, and this 'eye-sore' is still up. What was boggling my mind, was---where are the supervisors?? Usually, with the two office supervisors(there has to be a Republican affiliate, and a Democratic affiliate), and an Operations Manager, there are boots-on-the-ground---all the time. For some reason, all three are anchored at their cubicles for most of the morning. I know Cheryl was up and about, to some extent and therefore must have observed it. For some reason, probably not knowing what to do because my presence is still apparently awkward to deal with for some people, she chose to, by default, let it continue to exist.

As I am coming back from getting my morning coffee, a Democrat, Connie Z., asides-me, and asks me about the situation. I told her---Connie, I am new; I don't want to make any waves. I realize it is just a 'joke' but I feel uncomfortable; I feel that this is stepping over-the-line. After that exchange, I proceeded to my cubicle. Well God bless Connie, a veteran of many years at The BOE, who has kind of taken me under her wing,because she went into Joel L., the Operations Manager's office, and informed him of the matter.

I suspect Joel L. must have made a phone-call to the front-desk. It is about 11:15AM, and the Republican Office Supervisor, Beth B. actually comes to the SPEED BUMP area and does the physical removal of all the props. As she is doing so, I can hear her remarking that this has to be removed; it is a definite tripping hazard. It was a tripping hazard, but more acutely, it was a deliberate attempt to have fun at the expense of a disability. One might even suggest a form of harassment.

It was just after Beth had removed the day's blemish, that I was now done with my tasks and proceeded to turn that paper-work over to Joel so I could my next assignment. After exchanging the paper-work, and some small-talk, he apologized for the transgression. He appreciated me keeping an even-keeled disposition throughout the morning. In his remarks he, himself, did suggest that the action was a form of harassment. Incidentally, Joel and Connie, are Democrats. Joel has taken an appreciation to me. Not the least of which comes from a production standpoint. I just keep on cranking out~~~THE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!

Just joking; just joking!! I have to see who is paying attention. And Norb~~~sheathe your sword!! I know the political interpretation of this event has you spinning a flint stone, or two!! Actually Joel appreciates that I always have a good disposition and am always putting out envious edit/inquiry production numbers.

Wednesday, in the altogether, becomes a tough pill to swallow. I know I have to make THIS phone-call---but I don't want to. I have to call my urologist, Dr Doyle, as a follow-up to a second blood-test I was instructed to take yesterday, Tuesday, 12 April. He called me on Saturday and asked that I take a second test because the one I took on 22 February, had I high PSA reading. Why the gap in the time-line. He explained that when I took the test on the 22nd, my system was still coming off the urinary-tract infection, and the high-potency antibiotic to heal it. He wanted my system to absorb the medicines and stabilize, to get a better 'read'. So I called Dr. Doyle Wednesday, just after all this other stuff had transpired. I mean, I am amazed at how well I stood up all day, under the mental and emotional stress that existed. The Doctor's reply; gggrrr. While the PSA was lower than the 22 February blood-work, it was higher than the comfort-zone cut-off of 4. So now, I am slated for a biopsy on~~~Good Friday; 1PM. Prayers are always welcome.

So Thursday 14 April, is my half-day, as per the schedule. This is, in effect, four hours at the ECBOE. In the lay-of-the-land, so to speak, once I am settled in my cubicle, it is my back that
faces the commons area. So unless I turn around to engage somebody, the traffic otherwise
normally flows by---without comment. Note as well that since, by dress-code, every man is wearing a tie, there is no proclamations, by-and-large, of the neck wear.

In the four hours that I was on-duty, with my back to the traffic, Bill G. found a way to get my attention, twice, to initiate an 'hello Lou', and---the second time that I turned around to receive his offering, he also added; "nice tie."

I am thinking, Bill G., by one of the managers~~~was scolded.

For now, anyway, I have~~~Sheathed my Sword||||

Friday, 15 April, was a great day. It was sunny and just great to be out and about taking in the sights-and-sounds, for awhile. Ran some errands. With some company, enjoyed a Dutch Treat. And then went to my RR Trax retreat and was rewarded with The Maple Leaf Ltd passing through; N/B. As the engineer was 'flying' by, he gave me my thrill of the day; two short whistle sounds|||

--{-=@
Hickok
The Promise